Looking into your sorrowful eyes
Longing with my touch to satisfy
Your pain and mine our bodies could hide
But my sobs just echo love denied
With all passion for you flowing
This weariness for you only growing
The night only caresses my sadness
Dreams only justify the maddness
With this hunger to entwine
To take your love and make it mine
Join in feelings just begun
And with this need to make us one
But loneliness has established his throne
Leaving desire void of his own
The war of the mind having conquered
This endless love you silently sponsored
General
Comments are closed.
I like this poem. When reading the last line, I felt like all of these thoughts were just in the other character’s head and he won’t pursue a romantic relationship. I do not like how this poem is structured. Make the slashes into lines. Also, come up with a title. Your poem will be even stronger!
Thank you for the feedback. I did agree with your thoughts and changed it a bit, hope it is more structured. I love hearing your interpretation, as that is the most interesting part of poetry I think. I will be adding more soon, please check back.