hydrangeasyndrome

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"Too late"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I heard you miss me. I heard you got drunk and spilled your guts. Before I would think that was sweet, putting your heart on display. But now it's just disgusting. all your organs out on the floor. It's like a tragic comedy. I wonder...

0 Likes | 1 comment | 463 views | Poetry | September 1, 2021

"Lavinia (tw mentions of r*pe)"

by hydrangeasyndrome

It's weird how processing works. It took 6 months for me. Titus Andronicus woke me up. The violent rape. Mine wasn't violent. Mine wasn't by strangers. Mine didn't leave me unable to speak, Mine didn't inspire action. Mine was brush...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 339 views | Poetry | June 28, 2021

"theft"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I'm empty inside. You left your nasty things and took all my valuables. And now I'm empty. Now you flaunt my things like a badge of honor. A full trophy case. While I have nothing. An empty house. And who wants to live in an empty ho...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 519 views | Poetry | June 28, 2021

"imaginary friend"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I thought you were long gone, I thought any trace of you I could never reach. But I was left with this presence inside me. You left your little spy, and thought you could get away with it. You did. It hasn't been there for a long time...

1 Like | 0 comment | 328 views | Poetry | June 28, 2021

"your mother"

by hydrangeasyndrome

(more…)...

0 Likes | 1 comment | 699 views | Poetry | December 27, 2019

"“because it’s the truth and i’m not a liar”"

by hydrangeasyndrome

You said you weren't a liar. You said it a lot. I don't know why I believed you. It's like you spoke it into existence, but it was only a shell. You said you didn't want to lie anymore when you said goodbye. That didn't really hit me...

1 Like | 1 comment | 780 views | Poetry | December 20, 2019

"I don’t know if I’m depressed or just tired"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I can't do anything recently. I can barely get up in the morning. I have so much work to do. So many things I want to do when I get the time. I don't think I'll ever get the time. Yet I lay here watching pointless things just to stop m...

1 Like | 0 comment | 745 views | Poetry | December 4, 2019

"wilting yellow roses"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I don't know if I'm changing for the better or the worse, but either way, I know I'm changing for you. I want you to feel light-years away from me the way I do from you. I don't know if I want you to regret what you did or if I want you...

1 Like | 1 comment | 849 views | Poetry | November 27, 2019

"i don’t know how to get over you violating me so i’ve resorted to writing poems you’ll never read"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I had a dream where I did to you what you've done to me. I didn't like it. It didn't make me feel better. It just made me feel disgusting. So, how could you do it and feel completely fine afterwards? How could you do it and have the ab...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 841 views | General | November 27, 2019

"if i fall asleep it’s like it didn’t happen"

by hydrangeasyndrome

There's this scene that keeps replaying in my head, over and over again. And every time it hurts, but it just keeps playing. It was a day I thought was good looking back on it with my rosy glasses. In the moment it felt wrong, but I bl...

1 Like | 1 comment | 680 views | General | October 31, 2019

"i gave you my doves, and never got them back"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I saw you today and you're repeating your patterns. You got me with a shy smile and a laugh. You took my scrunchie and never gave it back. You wore it for days, but never did I get it back. After awhile you said you hated scrunchies. Y...

1 Like | 1 comment | 803 views | Poetry | October 24, 2019

"i’m disgusting"

by hydrangeasyndrome

My body doesn’t feel like my own. It feels like you stole it from me. No, it feels like you’ve infected it. Showers do nothing. It feels like I cover my body with clothing to hide the grotesque mess it became after your touch. You�...

3 Likes | 1 comment | 794 views | Poetry | October 3, 2019

"i don’t know"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I don't miss you. But my feelings scare me. If you tried to come back to me I hope I would reject you. But would I really? I'm not sure. That's what scares me more than anything. Cause I know if I tried to get you back you would rejec...

1 Like | 1 comment | 797 views | Poetry | September 30, 2019

"your warmth"

by hydrangeasyndrome

Your lips on mine were warm and loving. You always said I had soft lips. Your hand holding mine was warm and reassuring. You always said my hands were oh so small. Your eyes looking into mine were warm and deep. You always said my eyes...

1 Like | 1 comment | 821 views | General | September 22, 2019

"fuck missing you"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I don't miss you anymore. I'm past missing you. You lied, and manipulated, and made me feel like garbage. You used me. You used me for your pathetic needs. You used me for your selfish desires. You used me because I loved you. You li...

2 Likes | 1 comment | 779 views | Poetry | September 21, 2019

"missing you #8"

by hydrangeasyndrome

You won't even look at me. You said we were fine, there were no hard feelings, but you won't even look at me. You said you wanted me to talk to you, but you don't make any attempt. You said we're fine, but I know I messed that up. And...

1 Like | 1 comment | 819 views | Poetry | September 10, 2019

"empty/full"

by hydrangeasyndrome

Four walls can only contain so much. It’s almost like the objects are all screaming to get out. Pressed against each other li...

1 Like | 1 comment | 836 views | Poetry | September 9, 2019

"i wrote you something before you broke me"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I woke up this morning and came to a realization, Oh god I love you. There’s nothing you could do to convince me other wise...

2 Likes | 1 comment | 791 views | Poetry | September 8, 2019

"missing you #7"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I keep imagining you wanting me back. I keep imagining you making a grand gesture. Doing something you never did when we were together. All for just a second chance. Then I remember you won't do that. You never loved me in the first pl...

1 Like | 1 comment | 861 views | Poetry | September 4, 2019

"missing you #6"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I’ve seen the haircut. I’ve seen the new shirts. I’ve seen the piercing. Is this how you show me you’re over me? By changing yourself so much I don’t recognize you? Are you doing it on purpose? To spite me? To rub it in my...

0 Likes | 1 comment | 807 views | General | August 31, 2019

"missing you #5"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I hate seeing you talk to people. You talk to everyone but me. Just say something to me. Please. Even if it’s one word, hell even if it’s a sound. Just say something to me. Don’t talk to him or her anymore just talk to me. Eve...

1 Like | 1 comment | 829 views | Poetry | August 29, 2019

"missing you #4"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I still listen to the music you showed me. Every time I do it feels like a montage of the good times. And part of me forgets it’s over. But eventually the song ends. It has to end. But I play it over and over again. Longing for the...

1 Like | 1 comment | 778 views | Poetry | August 29, 2019

"missing you #3"

by hydrangeasyndrome

The sadness comes in waves. One second I’m on top of the world. The next I’m at the bottom. I saw you three times today. The reaction was physical. I felt this shiver from head to toe and my stomach felt empty. I brushed it off bu...

0 Likes | 1 comment | 960 views | Poetry | August 27, 2019

"missing you #2"

by hydrangeasyndrome

It’s over now and my walls are empty. Barren of our memories. The pictures we took the fun we had. Stripped from my walls and thrown in the bin. That’s how my heart feels too. Barren of your love. Stripped of joy. Now those empty...

1 Like | 1 comment | 774 views | Poetry | August 27, 2019

"missing you #1"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I just keep looking for you. I know you aren’t looking back. And it makes me feel so stupid. Looking for you as if you can bring me joy when you made me like this. You made it end. But no, even before that you made it start. I wish...

1 Like | 1 comment | 862 views | Poetry | August 19, 2019

"socks"

by hydrangeasyndrome

You said we weren’t a match. But I think that’s bullshit. Why do we have to match? I’ve never matched my socks but they still work just fine. Why can’t we work just fine? But then again you’ve always been one to wear your gre...

0 Likes | 1 comment | 1064 views | Poetry | August 19, 2019

"freedom"

by hydrangeasyndrome

Sometimes I get this thrill from being forgotten. It feels like I can do whatever I want. Like I can now leave you behind just as you've left me. Like I can move on. Like I couldn't care less. Then I think about what I want to do with...

0 Likes | 1 comment | 1074 views | Poetry | August 17, 2019

"you [are] matter"

by hydrangeasyndrome

If you think you’re small imagine how your cells feel. If you ever think things are pointless because you have the size and relevance of an ant in the grand scheme of...

2 Likes | 1 comment | 949 views | Poetry | June 15, 2019

"of course you forgot your birthday"

by hydrangeasyndrome

Your Facebook is still up. It’s been approximately 86 days and your Facebook is still up. Do those expire when you do or do they...

1 Like | 2 comments | 929 views | Poetry | June 15, 2019

"I think I’m a glitch"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I think I'm a glitch. Just a small blip. Only some notice. Even fewer care. I think I'm a glitch. Some may search. Some may speculate. There's no deeper meaning. I think I'm a glitch. I think the pixels are off. Just hold down the...

1 Like | 2 comments | 915 views | Poetry | June 1, 2019

"and then you accept that you hate yourself"

by hydrangeasyndrome

There’s a happy yellow and then there’s the yellow that floods your vision during a panic attack. There’s the bright sunflower yellow,...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 923 views | Poetry | March 18, 2019

"anything and everything"

by hydrangeasyndrome

A long time ago, The universe was born. And it brought with it you. The universe whispere...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 867 views | Poetry | March 18, 2019

"we take a sip and watch the earth spin"

by hydrangeasyndrome

I can see the image so vividly. A wooden porch with complete symmetry. Two wicker chairs and a small coffee table....

1 Like | 1 comment | 913 views | Poetry | March 17, 2019