Luvflunkie

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"Counting the Days"

by Luvflunkie

I hate this separation. There's just so much going on. I will be close the first week of October so God willing and the creek don't rise, I will be able to visit! I hope you will be there. This has been a really...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 14 views | | September 23, 2023

"Angelic Moon Dreams"

by Luvflunkie

I miss you, my angel. The moon was such a small sliver tonight. It reminded me of how I feel in your world, so small. I understand why that is important to you. And I want to be like the moon and light up the night anyway. I want to see you...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 21 views | | September 19, 2023

"Just My Imagination"

by Luvflunkie

I have 54 tests scheduled over the couple of days to see if I will be selected as the donor. I am nervous and wishing I was curled up in your arms. We had a great meeting tonight raw and vulnerable and it left me feeling both. I wish I coul...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 54 views | | September 13, 2023

"From a Different View"

by Luvflunkie

I have resigned myself to the fact that I won't see you this weekend like I wanted to. I just can't count on my wheels. But it has made me think a lot about what needs to change in me. I am always wanting to shake things up and change the v...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 76 views | | September 2, 2023

"The Beauty of You"

by Luvflunkie

I was talking with a friend tonight, and she said something that made me realize maybe I have spent too much time writing about the wrong things and assuming you know the right things already. I don't know if you know what it is that brings...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 80 views | | September 1, 2023

"Stones"

by Luvflunkie

Back amongst the living! And to such a beautiful moon to boot! I miss you, baby. A song reminded me of my painting tonight and I wondered if you were out there somewhere looking at it and thinking of me. I wonder if you have it somewhere sp...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 78 views | | August 30, 2023

"Id love it if we made it"

by Luvflunkie

I find that every time something makes me feel alive, it leaves me thinking of you. I know we are aren't on the same page much here lately but when we are, it is absolutely the meaning of life for me. Maybe I am just lovesick and feverish,...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 82 views | | August 24, 2023

"Inconvenient Plot Twist"

by Luvflunkie

And... enter COVID. Not the plot twist I was hoping for at all. Just when I had things worked out. It would make me laugh if I didn't feel so horrible. I am just sore and endlessly sweaty and feel like nothing is ever going to be OK again....

0 Likes | 0 comment | 126 views | | August 24, 2023

"Wish You Were Here"

by Luvflunkie

I have really enjoyed your shows lately. I wish I could have been there. Truly. I am having car issues and I cant risk being stuck in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. I am trying to find a ride but it isn't working so far....

0 Likes | 0 comment | 90 views | | August 20, 2023

"Enough"

by Luvflunkie

I remember when it used to be enough for me just to know that you were out there doing what you do and being who you are. I was just so far away from my feelings and my heart then. It isn't enough now. I feel you everywhere. My nights are l...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 99 views | | August 14, 2023

"Beautiful Truths"

by Luvflunkie

You're so beautiful when you shine. I would never want to do anything to dull that shine. I don't shine like that and sometimes it is hard for me to understand. You know what I do understand, though? The look in your eyes when you thought I...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 104 views | | August 12, 2023

"The Things We Could Discover"

by Luvflunkie

I finally got the call I have been waiting on to move forward with my testing for liver donation. I am scared and it is hard to find someone to talk to about it that really helps. I wish I could talk to you about it. I bet you would help. T...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 111 views | | August 8, 2023

"Birthday Wishes"

by Luvflunkie

I hope you had a great birthday. I feel like we took a few steps back and that it is my fault and the last thing I want. I was telling a friend how bad I blew it. She told me to just be really honest. So I tried to think about some things I...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 120 views | | August 5, 2023

"Confessions by Moonlight"

by Luvflunkie

Sitting on the patio with the moon. It's the only thing that takes my breath away like you do. I feel like I am the last one standing this time. Like you are as beautiful and as far away and as untouchable as the moon. And tonight you are....

0 Likes | 0 comment | 104 views | | August 3, 2023

"I’m the Problem, It’s Me"

by Luvflunkie

I was making dinner tonight and I realized along the way that I was really trying to make it good not just edible. I thought maybe if it was good I could make it for you sometime. That's the thing about your love, it makes me want to do thi...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 124 views | | August 2, 2023

"Funny stories"

by Luvflunkie

I am in kind of a bind right now. I know how much you are hurting and I don't know how best to support you. I hope you liked your flower. I had a really packed work day that day and ran to get it on my lunch break. But the ac wasn't working...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 123 views | | July 30, 2023

"Funny stories"

by Luvflunkie

I am in kind of a bind right now. I know how much you are hurting and I don't know how best to support you. I hope you liked your flower. I had a really packed work day that day and ran to get it on my lunch break. But the ac wasn't working...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 128 views | | July 30, 2023

"Just to see you smile"

by Luvflunkie

Well I have thought a lot about it and I really want to be a source of love and comfort for you during a difficult time. If you don't want to see me, just let me know that when I am walking in and I swear I will turn around and leave and co...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 127 views | | July 27, 2023

"Presence"

by Luvflunkie

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope to offer you a reprieve from the grief you must be feeling. And I apologize for my last post. My character defects were raging. I want to bring you more presents and my new attitude. But I also want to gi...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 392 views | | July 26, 2023

"Sunday Night Blues"

by Luvflunkie

I dated this guy in undergrad and I knew he cared about me but he wound up completely dicking me over. I was having a beer with his good friend afterwards and he said "yeah he needs a woman who doesn't intimidate him". And I thought he was...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 127 views | | July 24, 2023

"We live and we learn"

by Luvflunkie

I understand now. I understand how deep my brokenness runs. I will do the work to overcome it. I know you are hurting and I wish I could be there for you in a legit way. I am so sorry about your friend and colleague. Just know that I am her...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 166 views | | July 23, 2023

"Things that Last"

by Luvflunkie

I am once again overflowing with enthusiasm and optimism. Like the tattoos on my arm and the red dye in my hair, you go with me everywhere I go. Looking forward to a fun night that I hope becomes one I will always cherish. I have a surprise...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 119 views | | July 22, 2023

"Got game?"

by Luvflunkie

I was watching one of my favorite shows today and it occurred to me that I have no game. I never have. I never needed it. I just kinda took what came my way and, most of the time, we made something beautiful out of it. While I am sure you a...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 128 views | | July 15, 2023

"Our Love is Contagious"

by Luvflunkie

The countdown begins! I can't wait to see you this week. If no one else believes in us, my therapist does. I love that but wouldn't really care if she didn't at this point. It is so weird, my perspective is so different. I can see now easil...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 128 views | | July 11, 2023

"I Won’t Turn Away"

by Luvflunkie

I am so excited to see you--nervous still but not scared. I have nothing to lose because you aren't mine now so all I can do is leave without you. You are still the best thing that ever happened to me either way. There is so much...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 116 views | | July 7, 2023

"Real Talk and Hard Lines"

by Luvflunkie

What a wonderful night it has been. A great meeting and a long, real talk with an old friend. You haven't heard real talk until you have been a fly on the wall for ours- a man who is dying without a liver transplant and the woma...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 134 views | | July 3, 2023

"Give Me Religion"

by Luvflunkie

Funny thing, I have lost so much over the last few years--my partner and best friend of 13 years, my big house, my crazy parties, people I thought loved me, my biggest emotional crutches and addictions of alcohol and gambling, possessions I...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 142 views | | June 30, 2023

"Knocking with my Heart"

by Luvflunkie

Tonight is one of those nights I will regret about 2 in the afternoon. I have been out all night with my AA bros drinking too much coffee and came home full of feelings and memories. Now it is about time for my alarm to go off. I have enjoy...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 148 views | | June 27, 2023

"Understanding"

by Luvflunkie

Tonight, I walked in to the public bathroom and there was a young woman lying on the floor in tears with a friend comforting her. I could still hear her crying when I went in the stall and closed the door. I coul...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 142 views | | June 24, 2023

"Melt with You"

by Luvflunkie

Since when can you not change the world??? We can do anything but leave each other alone. Have you forgotten so quickly who we are? Who you are? Baby, baby, baby what am I gonna do with you? Telling all the lies you've told before. You know...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 143 views | | June 22, 2023

"The Next Right Thing"

by Luvflunkie

The next right thing. I think a lot about it in every situation, but with you it is harder. I know what feels right to me when I pray. How could it be wrong? But you seem to be pulling in the other direction. I want to honor what you want....

0 Likes | 0 comment | 152 views | | June 21, 2023

"Look what love can do"

by Luvflunkie

I saw you last night, there was a sadness in your eyes. It hurts to see that and not be able to help. I have this ethical quandary and I wish you could help. I bet you would have the best advice. Yet here we are. I get no advice. You carry...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 148 views | | June 19, 2023

"Day dreams"

by Luvflunkie

Of all the memories I cannot forget, the one that hits the hardest in recent times is that night in Colorado when our guards were down. When you came all the way into me for a split second. You didn't want to, you didn't mean to, but you di...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 153 views | | June 18, 2023

"Eternally Yours"

by Luvflunkie

I am going through so much right and I wish you were here to hold me. Your arms are the only thing in the world that I trust right now, even in absentia. I wish I could come to you right now. I would give anything to see you and hold you an...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 162 views | | June 14, 2023

"Healing Vibes"

by Luvflunkie

You are all I want. I have run from you. I have hidden from you. I have lied to you. But I have never not wanted you from the beginning. I don't know how things got so complicated between us. I have no doubt that I was mostly to blame but i...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 159 views | | May 31, 2023

"Post Card Energy"

by Luvflunkie

I hope you liked the postcard! I wish I could have been there this weekend, but my sponsor made me agree to wait til six months. I got it down from a year so there's that. I take you very seriously but I also take my sobriety seriously. I...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 401 views | | May 30, 2023

"Faith"

by Luvflunkie

The topic tonight was, simplified, faith without works is dead. I talked a lot about how faithless I had become before sobriety. It started a long time ago. But I guess you know that. I wanted to have faith in you I just didn't know how by...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 175 views | | May 21, 2023

"Miracles"

by Luvflunkie

I saw something today that reminded me of you. It was just a Facebook quote but it made sense to me. It was something like when you start healing you stop being chosen and start choosing. You always said that loving is a choice and I unders...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 171 views | | May 19, 2023

"Tonight"

by Luvflunkie

Tonight is one of those nights that I would give anything to have your head on my chest. I am peaceful but yearning so for your kiss, your touch, your smile, that sparkle in your eye, anything really. Just a crumb to pass the hours before t...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 165 views | | May 18, 2023

"Metaphors and Such"

by Luvflunkie

Our connection is like that first hot bite of your favorite food. You know you should let it cool off but you bite into it anyway. It burns the inside of your mouth, pieces fall out and on to your shirt, and you'...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 171 views | | May 12, 2023