Luvflunkie

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"Healing Vibes"

by Luvflunkie

You are all I want. I have run from you. I have hidden from you. I have lied to you. But I have never not wanted you from the beginning. I don't know how things got so complicated between us. I have no doubt that I was mostly to blame but i...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 24 views | | May 31, 2023

"Post Card Energy"

by Luvflunkie

I hope you liked the postcard! I wish I could have been there this weekend, but my sponsor made me agree to wait til six months. I got it down from a year so there's that. I take you very seriously but I also take my sobriety seriously. I...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 32 views | | May 30, 2023

"Faith"

by Luvflunkie

The topic tonight was, simplified, faith without works is dead. I talked a lot about how faithless I had become before sobriety. It started a long time ago. But I guess you know that. I wanted to have faith in you I just didn't know how by...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 40 views | | May 21, 2023

"Miracles"

by Luvflunkie

I saw something today that reminded me of you. It was just a Facebook quote but it made sense to me. It was something like when you start healing you stop being chosen and start choosing. You always said that loving is a choice and I unders...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 45 views | | May 19, 2023

"Tonight"

by Luvflunkie

Tonight is one of those nights that I would give anything to have your head on my chest. I am peaceful but yearning so for your kiss, your touch, your smile, that sparkle in your eye, anything really. Just a crumb to pass the hours before t...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 49 views | | May 18, 2023

"Metaphors and Such"

by Luvflunkie

Our connection is like that first hot bite of your favorite food. You know you should let it cool off but you bite into it anyway. It burns the inside of your mouth, pieces fall out and on to your shirt, and you'...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 64 views | | May 12, 2023

"Red Light – Green Light"

by Luvflunkie

I miss you. Someone asked me once recently why I love you. They cut me off after about 20 minutes. I wish I could tell you all those things then maybe you would understand. Sometimes we punish each other for who we used to be. We forgive ea...

0 Likes | 2 comments | 101 views | | May 1, 2023

"Moves"

by Luvflunkie

Got my 90 day chip tonight. So many hugs. So many well wishes. A list of people to send pics of it to. It was so beautiful. Until I got home and in bed and no call from you. The One person I want to share all this with the most. Have you no...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 96 views | | April 26, 2023

"Late Night Whispers"

by Luvflunkie

I want to tell myself to give up. The way it is so easy for others to advise me to do. I don't want to hurt you anymore. But I can feel you so deep in my heart. There can be nothing wrong with how we feel except that we stay apart. I swear...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 154 views | | April 10, 2023

"Coffee shops and Wishful Thinking"

by Luvflunkie

You said that everything has been said and done, and I wonder why you would write such a hopeless line. I don't know the side of you that would say something like that. I wonder about it often. If I have done that to you. If you really beli...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 170 views | | April 5, 2023

"Long years"

by Luvflunkie

I haven't known what to say lately. I am seeing someone too now. She knows the deal, but you know I don't do casual. Sometimes I wonder if this is the end for us. I never see you anymore. You don't seem to want to see me when I do. There is...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 340 views | | May 23, 2022

"Desert showers"

by Luvflunkie

I miss you so much. The nights are so lonely just dreaming about you and bridges and windows and doors. I remember a far off time when I didn't think I needed you anymore. And I can't remember why that was. I can't remember what it was like...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 358 views | | May 3, 2022

"Heretic"

by Luvflunkie

If music suddenly asked you to stop singing, could you do it? Why not? Because you love music? Because you feel music inside your bones? This is how I feel about you. I don't want to let you go. Not because I am totally selfish but becau...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 385 views | | April 27, 2022

"Say Something"

by Luvflunkie

Thanks for a great night. I loved seeing you. I guess you were right all along, we don't need more time. Everyone has the right to be loved for who they are. It doesn't make me fake or selfish or cold. And everyone has the right to say you...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 366 views | | April 24, 2022

"Confessions of a lonely woman"

by Luvflunkie

If you go looking for trouble you will find it. Such an old, simple adage. And yet it is very clear to me now that I have done this from almost the start with you. All this time has passed since I started this journey that I swore would end...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 358 views | | April 20, 2022

"Good Places"

by Luvflunkie

I am suffering through nicotine withdrawal and have an inordinate amount of time to think about you, since I don't sleep, coupled with raging emotions. I hope that I have not squandered my opportunity with you but, if I have, it is so imp...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 364 views | | April 15, 2022

"And that’s the one thing we got"

by Luvflunkie

I am at a mostly empty open mic night. Buried in the back with a whiskey. And all I can wonder is if you did this in some far away day. Did you play to people who clapped for your potential or your sheer bravery? And does it make you fe...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 277 views | | April 14, 2022

"As it should be"

by Luvflunkie

A bunch of unrelated conversations led me to one conclusion tonight. I love you. I love you whether my love is a joke to you or everyone who knows you or almost everyone who knows me. It is not a joke to me. It is not a joke to my mother w...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 117 views | | April 6, 2022

"Passion Shrapnel"

by Luvflunkie

I am your prodigal lover and I am home and I just want to hold you and tell you of all my tales and lies and triumphs. I miss you, baby! If I hit my knees will you help me up this time? If I wear my shirt will you come down a flight this ti...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 127 views | | April 3, 2022

"Lucky"

by Luvflunkie

I realized this morning that I have been so guilty of exactly what I complained about you doing. I have this chance with the sexiest, most enthralling, most frustrating, most delightfully complicated, most adorable person I have ever known...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 151 views | | March 26, 2022

"My TV Lesson"

by Luvflunkie

I heard a speech tonight by lil naz about being delusional. That if you aren't delusional when chasing your dreams you can't really catch them. It struck me that I needed to hear that in just the way he said it. I hate being delusional. I l...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 177 views | | March 23, 2022

"Moonlight and Museums"

by Luvflunkie

The moon is so full tonight. I sit under it and daydream that you are doing the same. I finally notice I am unconsciously humming Fivel and I laugh out loud. Eventually my mind turns on me, and I think of all the other things you could be d...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 222 views | | March 17, 2022

"Gimme Some"

by Luvflunkie

I said I wouldn't ask for nothing but gimme some, Patrice. My heart knows only you, and she's lonely. She is alive and skipping beats but she is lonely like me. My body wants only you, and she's lonely. She is alert and aware but she is...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 193 views | | March 13, 2022

"Beggar’s Nest"

by Luvflunkie

Push me out like the ornery teenager I am You seek freedom? Shove me from the nest I have no wings with which to fly But the ground suits me just as well. Something you understood but not as deeply as me. I don't want 2 years, I don't...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 204 views | | March 11, 2022

"Arrangements"

by Luvflunkie

I thought of you so often tonight. The sky was clear, and the crescent moon so pretty that it reminded me of you. And then I walked in and sat in front of the flower arrangement from my aunt's funeral. It has always reminded me of you becau...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 226 views | | March 8, 2022

"Tied Up"

by Luvflunkie

I feel so much anxiety and grief and joyfulness and desire all at once. You do this to me. Tie my emotions in knots. I am missing you so much at the same time as I know you are mine. I never knew that before. I t...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 206 views | | March 6, 2022

"Dark Nights and Sunshine"

by Luvflunkie

I think about you a lot when I am alone in the dark. I think about your lips and your eyes and your smile. I think about your body and your walk and your moves. I think about this face you make when you are thinking about us. I think about...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 225 views | | February 27, 2022

"My angels"

by Luvflunkie

Sometimes I get the feeling that someone is looking out for me Sometimes it is an angel, sometimes it is God, sometimes my goddess, and sometimes baby it is you. And I wonder if you ever feel that way about me. If you feel my love when I...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 272 views | | February 19, 2022

"Worth"

by Luvflunkie

People used to say that when I set my mind to something, I did it. But then my goals got loftier and, well my confidence got lower and lower. I learned to give myself grace about not being that person anymore. Until eventually I wanted noth...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 311 views | | February 12, 2022

"Corners"

by Luvflunkie

My therapist is our biggest fan. She and I have worked through so much together and it makes me feel better to know she is on the side of us working out. I tell her everything. Everything I know, she knows. And she believes. I know so many...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 306 views | | February 3, 2022

"The Long Ride Home"

by Luvflunkie

I had a lot of time to think on the long, hungover ride home about how we got where we are now. I should have just kissed you when you wanted me to. I let my pride get in the way and now I don't know if we will be ok. But when I said, I am...

0 Likes | 2 comments | 409 views | | January 24, 2022

"Our Anniversary"

by Luvflunkie

It is the month we met 20 years ago. And I feel like I am further from your love than ever. My dreams used to be so hot and now it is just different versions of me begging you not to go. You don't leave but you don't stay either. It's like...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 407 views | | January 1, 2022

"Alone"

by Luvflunkie

I have never felt as alone as I did last night. I forgot how lonely loving you can be. I have cried for you a million nights but never quite so slowly. Like every tear held the weight of the knowledge that you may never truly see me. I car...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 422 views | | December 20, 2021

"If You Ever Want"

by Luvflunkie

I know our love is like us - complicated and messy but strong and enduring. Sometimes I feel like there is nothing we haven't said before but most times I feel like there is whole world left for us to talk about. I mean, what if all these...

0 Likes | 2 comments | 410 views | | December 8, 2021

"Anything But Over"

by Luvflunkie

For someone who swears I am forgiven, you sure are mad at me a lot. I just wanted to surprise you and show you how significant you are to me. I felt really good about it, really at peace with it. I am not sure how I messed it up so quickly...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 419 views | | November 26, 2021

"Toss and Turn"

by Luvflunkie

I toss and turn because I felt you in my bed and now I can't kick you out. I felt you inside of me and now every other feeling pales. I love the way you own your body and mine. I love the way you touch my arm on our tattoo. I love the purp...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 322 views | | November 15, 2021

"Pouring Rain"

by Luvflunkie

I miss you like crazy! I keep thinking there will come a point at which what I know about you makes sense of how badly I want you. But the more I know, the more I want to know and it never seems to equal the depth of my attraction to you....

0 Likes | 0 comment | 394 views | | November 11, 2021

"Confessions"

by Luvflunkie

It is a huge responsibility to hold someone's heart in your hands. I didn't step up for you when you needed me to. And that's not even the worst thing I have done to you. But if there is some small, not-so-sure part of you that kinda stil...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 421 views | | October 25, 2021

"Twin flames"

by Luvflunkie

I miss her like a part of my body But there is so much more than the physical pain My soul cries for her all night Knowing we have everything to gain By carrying on towards what we both want Edging toward a passion carried by our veins...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 413 views | | October 19, 2021

"Waking up with you"

by Luvflunkie

I feel like I am an adult most of the time And strong But around you I am a child in all the worst ways. I know why but I dont know how to fix it and stop. I wish nothing but that you get everything you want when you want it. But at th...

0 Likes | 0 comment | 435 views | | October 18, 2021