Fight Back By:Gen1900
“To those who get bullied in school, life can be a living nightmare. They think no one will save them and the people who look that they can stand up for them, watch on the sidelines. You can help! Kids can be cruel and harsh causing their victims to even thinking of ending their own life. The reason that they do this is simple; they aren’t happy with themselves.
In my state a boy opened fired at a prom and why did he do such a thing? He was bullied.
Even if you don’t know the person YOU can make a difference. You could save someone’s life with just holding your hand out or saying these simple words, “Are you okay?”Think of this: when you are helping someone you are actually helping Jesus.
And if for some reason I am talking to someone who actually bullies people. HEY! STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING! DON’T YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE MAKING SOMEONE’S LIFE MISERABLE?! Even if you feel bad about yourself doesn’t mean you have to take it out on others. And(in the case of being in school)if you think it’s not cool to go a long with your friends who are picking on a poor kid, don’t do it! WHO CARES IF IT’S NOT COOL! Back away from the group of the bullies and lend a helping hand to the victim. Just lending a hand to pick up the teen’s books or asking if they are okay will make a huge difference. It will tell them that they are not alone and they have someone who cares about them. Because those so called, “Friends”of yours are not truly friends. The kid who is being bullied just might be your best friend. Be kind to one another. Doing something good might help another’s life to be steered away from the dangerous cliff of death. EVEN YOU CAN MAKE AN IMPACT! EVEN WITH JUST A SMILE OR A SIMPLE HELLO. You can do something.
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Thank you for sharing your post. I can see that you have very strong feelings on the topic and conveyed how traumatic of a situation it is to be bullied. It’s important that people speak up about these issues and create a safe space for people to share concerns whether they’re being bullied, are witnessing bullying or being pressured into bullying by others. Perhaps in your next post you can explore the different channels that individuals could take to seek help.
As I mentioned, the post was very emotional which shined through in it’s message, however, it’s borderline aggressive and with the all caps alludes that you’re yelling or punishing the reader, instead of trying to convey your thoughts. With that being said, I always encourage writers to re-read their pieces multiple times before submission and follow some basic standards in writing like spacing and punctuation use.
For example, use of quotations at the start of the essay is unnecessary because they are your words and not attributed to someone else. If they are someone else’s words, then of course you must site who the original source is. Another point I’d like to make is avoiding vaguely/randomly referencing Jesus or religion if you’re not going to expand on the role religion has for people who are seeking help.
Here’s a few ideas to make a stronger impact in future posts:
– looking up some statistics on bullying from a reliable source and citing them
– interviewing people to gather original quotes on the subject
– finding out about other historical moments where a bully was affected and acted on their anger, using names and places.
Good luck and keep up the engaging work!
Thank you for the tips and I’ll try my best to make this post even better