We all have different ways we are depressed! But my way is that i feel completely lost and feel like nobodies there for me, and i feel like my life is falling apart, and every things my fault and the saying never look back well i always look back at my mistakes and realize it was my fault! And i blame my self for it i think about what i should do i try to talk to people but sometimes it doesn’t help i hide everything i let my emotions build in then i exploded. I’m fine one minute then the next i want to jump off the bridge! I have the thoughts that people would be better with-ought me, then i think about the people who i know care and they would feel miserable i have thoughts but don’t attempt them bc after all i want to be alive! But…. im still depressed my anxiety eats me up at night i barley sleep and i cry and cry but nothing helps i was on anti depressants but it made it worse nothing else helps nothing at all i can vent and it will help sometime but my life is a mara- go- round!!!
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Writing has helped me through a lot of times. Still does.
I think because this is so honest and straightforward that it makes me both want to give you a big hug and applaud for such a raw and a moving piece. To encapsulate depression into words is such a taxing task yet you did it with so much emotions. The sudden turns of the piece reflects the abrupt flux of emotions and the impossible back and forth decisions that flood one’s mind is so real.
On a completely different note, hang in there. I know it sounds like such a trite advice, but don’t let a fraction of this long beautiful life ahead of you break you. It’s okay to not be okay and it’s okay to feel all those emotions. Acknowledge them to be real, seek professional help, do what you love, and keep going. Physical activity, like running, or walking around the neighborhood can clear your mind too. Reading of course, and realizing that you can never truly be alone in books is also a really good way. As Franktank said, write, because to write- especially like you who clearly have a knack at writing-can help tremendously. You truly got this.
Thank you anna