I don’t know if I’m changing for the better or the worse,
but either way, I know I’m changing for you.
I want you to feel light-years away from me the way I do from you.
I don’t know if I want you to regret what you did or if I want you to think I’m handling this well.
I think I just want you to look at me.
I think I just want you to say you like my haircut like you used to.
Or say this is your favorite shirt of mine.
Or say that I look pretty laying like this.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
I hate that I miss you when I can’t be in the same room with you without having a panic attack.
I hate that I think about the nice times when you’re gone, but the bad ones are stuck on repeat when I’m in your vicinity.
I don’t know if becoming a new person will change that,
but at least I won’t be the person you hurt anymore.