I don’t know if I’m changing for the better or the worse,
but either way, I know I’m changing for you.
I want you to feel light-years away from me the way I do from you.
I don’t know if I want you to regret what you did or if I want you to think I’m handling this well.
I think I just want you to look at me.
I think I just want you to say you like my haircut like you used to.
Or say this is your favorite shirt of mine.
Or say that I look pretty laying like this.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
I hate that I miss you when I can’t be in the same room with you without having a panic attack.
I hate that I think about the nice times when you’re gone, but the bad ones are stuck on repeat when I’m in your vicinity.
I don’t know if becoming a new person will change that,
but at least I won’t be the person you hurt anymore.
Poetry
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Your poem is a great look into how confusing it can be to find yourself again after a relationship. It can be hard to figure out where you stopped and they began, or what choices are best for you or best for them. The hesitance and uncertainty in your writing is very relatable in that regard. Great poem!