"Yoda Stole My Soda"
by randyjohnson
While I wasn’t looking, somebody stole my soda.
I quickly learned that it was Jedi Master Yoda.
I walked over to his table and we exchanged words.
I really got mad when that dwarf flipped me a bird.
I beat the hell out of him, whooping him wasn’t hard at all.
He tried to use the Force but he was no match for me because he’s only two feet tall.
Because of our altercation, that Jedi wound up in a lot of pain.
I kicked his green ass and that’s why he has to use his cane.
He lost bladder control, the floor was covered with pee.
Yoda learned that it’s a very bad idea to steal from me.
Poetry
3 Comments on “Yoda Stole My Soda”
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I get taking artistic liberties, but why did you pick Yoda? If you really want to reference a pop fiction character, why not pick a character that would actually fit the tone of the poem? There are plenty of short, grumpy characters, and I’m sure you can fix the rhyme scheme. I can tell by the tone that this poem is satirical, but I mean… it’s Yoda. The absolute opposite of a character that would ever steal, flip you the bird, or lose control of his bladder.
How about Joe Pesci?
Okay, this just made me laugh. I’m a huge Star Wars fan and Yoda is my favorite character.