A Soldier’s Prayer By:Gen1900
Chapter One
I tucked my wet wooden crutches under my sore arms wincing at the pain surging in my right leg. Ever since I was born, limping to school or sitting on the sidelines for football was the usual. All the boys were perfect…except me;a teen who never had friends or a girl to love. My parents were the ones that lifted my spirits emotionally and physically.
They had me receive Communion at age six because my heart was failing. There was something missing though at our Lutheran church. Did Jesus really wished to be chewed or received in the hands? I think not but our pastor said each morning, “It is the WAY of the Lord!” Still I wanted something more like a feeling of peace and grace. That never happened in our huge modern gathering place where the only thing I did enjoy was leaving it.
The weeping willows moaned in the soft breeze of spring that played with the pages of my art book. It did make me lose concentration on my painting,which I tried to depict the real Blessed Mother. I didn’t mind though. This was the place I could get away from all the war news, my chaotic three sisters, and most importantly the girls who shot looks as if I was a mere dog walking the alleys of San Francisco.
California had its positives and negatives for example on the bad side you dealt with too many people, gangs, and stealing but there was beautiful hills to roam. If it wasn’t for the small mountains you might say I’d be on the brink of dying.
I did enjoy one’s girl’s company though, her name was Lucille Marker. She charmed all the army soldiers with the high note quality of her voice. Even the birds went silent as she sang her heart out beneath the pines and palm trees. Her hair curved around her shoulders in soft brown wisps barely covering her sea-like eyes. She despised the freckles dotted across her nose but I thought:lovelier than the sea shells gathered at the bottom of the ocean. She visited me now and then at the local cafe but she had other interests not concerning me much.
Today she saw me almost sleeping under the willow with my sketch book flapping,closing restlessly. I woke to find her peering over me as her smile grew larger by the second.
“MATTHEW, it’s barely noon! How come you’re dozing off when it is so beautiful here!” she cried breathing in some fresh air.
She wore a tweed brown skirt that went above her ankles and a flowery blouse buttoned to the very top of her neck.
“You’re the one that’s beautiful.” I thought almost wishing my lips could utter those words to her without fearing her response.
“Matty, you need to get a hold of yourself! You keep staring at me!? Is there a bug on my lips or something?”
I said weakly moving my crutches so she could sit down beside me, “Sorry..day dreaming again as usual. You know me Lucille.”
Lucille laughed at my fumbling nervousness. “Your hands are shaking,dear Matty! Is something bothering you? Can I be of help?” she was saying as her sergeant approached the grassy path to us.
She had been dating Mr.Reynold for two months now as if the war had no effect on the love birds. He hated me for he thought I was an obstacle standing in his way from proposing to Lucille outright.
“DARLING!” she yelped rushing toward the moustached stuck up with open arms.
He received her with just a slight embrace which could have been meant for a stranger.
“Matty is here, you men should talk. I be you’d have a lot in common.” continued Lucille leading the cold soldier to MY favorite area. How dare he INTRUDE MY CHAT WITH LUCILLE!! He always ruined the perfect moments us two shared together which were very few.
“What have you been talking about with her??” asked Mr.Reynold playing with his empty sword hilt and his golden award stationed on the right side of his chest. He seemed to be enjoying that I was a cripple not participating in the war such as he was.
“Nothing I want to share, sir.” I replied defensively.
Silence ensued for my enemy held his lips in a firm hard line. Even Lucille was wide eyes surveying my calm expression carefully.
“Matty, shall we walk to the trolley car and ride it home?” asked my dream girl trying her best to lighten the mood of the hour.
“Yes, of course but you know I’m slow with my crutches, Lucille.” I answered ignoring the other man’s presence entirely.
She gave her sweetheart a brief kiss which Mr.Reynold accepted but complained at the shortness of it afterwards.
“Matty, let’s go!” she cried merrily helping me to my feet as well as giving my wooden tools to me.
Then we descended down the hill toward the fairly tall buildings of San Francisco. Lucille noticed my eyes constantly drifting at her.
Chapter Two
“Do stop that,Matthew! You’re making me uncomfortable!” she growled angrily. You could always tell when she was grumpy for the tip of her nose glowed a bright red.
I grimaced at the numbing pain that burned in my lower calf. The cobble stone avenues of the city proved rough terrain for my feet ached as the miles of strolling or in my case..hobbling grew in numbers.
The streets were packed with U.S.army who were either flirting with young ladies or performing muscle strengthening exercises. My heart longed to join the happy men but my injury held me from going overseas. What and honor that would be the ability to fight for your country and to give your life even for such a worthy cause! But I couldn’t stand being away from Lucille; the pretty little soul with a mind full of pure thoughts. She was hope for me which was the key for me to move on without sorrow or depression.
“Sorry it’s just-” I trailed as I neared the trolley that took us many places.
“Just what? Here grab my hand I’ll launch you on” said Lucille awful quickly. The red and black box car was about to leave me in the dust for the passengers were getting impatient.
She pulled me close to her so the scent of honey wafted to my nose.
There were only two teenagers on the trolley and that was us. The rest of the people were either basically starving children or working men. I saw a bony toddler playing with her father’s boot as the car passed the rich neighborhood of the city.
“Papa…..why can’t we live there?” inquired the blond pig-tailed tike pointing to a gigantic blue house at the end of Poplar Avenue.
“Because,” muttered her father barely thinking about the question.
Lucille whispered in my ear,”Poor dearie her dad won’t listen to a word she has to say.” I only nodded while grabbing hold to a metal beam to steady myself.
Finally we went off the silent beast and headed to the Cafe de Royale which had sweet smelling aromas seeping from the cracks in the glass windows. It was a quaint place with red patio chairs, different types of coffee lined up on green painted shelves, soft jazzy music playing in the rooms, as well as book of your choosing.
Lucille ordered her usual…the caramel mocha with a tea biscuit on a separate plate. I, on the other hand requested only a muffin topped with a fresh dusting of cinnamon.
“Should we sit here?” said Lucille beckoning me to the corner booth.
As we sat down,I felt a nudge under the table right by my toes. It was a medium sized terrier that had brown spots covering the short white fur. It appeared to be a female for there was no sign of anything male.
Lucille’s eyes shot up with surprise as it began to lick her shaven legs, “AHHH!”she shrieked.
“What’s going on here?” our waitress asked immediately coming to our aid.
“THERE’S A BEAST TOUCHING ME!” explained Lucille in a wave of panic.
Soon enough the manager revealed himself with heavy cross brows and hands covered in cakey flower.
“You’ve been hurting this lady,sir?” he said very annoyed at being interrupted from his work.
“Not me,you idiot the canine!” I replied hotly.
The staff took a glance under the table to find indeed a dog curled up in a ball on my shoe.
“Oh,this rat! He’s been begging for bones for awhile now. We’ve had calls about him steeling food from our guests’plates. Come on,you scoundrel, it’s the pound you’re going to get!” exclaimed the boss snatching the terrier by the scruff of the neck.
“Nooo!” said Lucille standing in front of the door so the poor dog didn’t have to meet his death.
“Move, miss.” commanded Mr.Lawley, the owner of the cafe.
“I’ll keep him.” my crush volunteered scooping the terrier in her arms.
We decided to not take the trolley for the conductor objected to animals of all sizes. Lucille hair blew in the humid air producing loose curls by the beginning of her black folding eyelashes. She was stunning but it shocked me how she thought little of her beauty.
Meanwhile Whisker trotted behind us with his tongue lolling out of the narrow mouth. I wished that home wasn’t nearing sadly it stood out among the fancy appartments.
My parents lived in a roof cracked house which had peeling siding,thin front steps,worthless door bell, and to top it all off an attic that was my bedroom for so many years. You’ll soon learn why it is in such wreckless shambles.
Lucille left me at the door with a smile and a friendly kiss on the cheek. She took Whisker with her for my Father hated dogs and especially cats.
I went in to find Mom crying over the sink, tears dropping to the yellow stained counter tops.
She saw me slowly stepping to her. The crutches held me back from running to her, the weeping mother I loved most.
“Matty, could you finish the dishes? I have to find, Jack.” Jack clearly meant my drunk Dad who still went to church by day, hit the bars by night.
“But you know where he is! Gambling our savings away and who knows what else!!” I shouted madly. I couldn’t stand my mother being hurt like this.
“He might be praying to the Lord you never know, Ma-“she started but I interrupted.
“THAT’S NOT SO, MOM! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME HE actually spent some evenings with us?! Was I six?! Seven maybe??!!”
She spitted at my words sobbing continuously in the process, “He loved me once. And he loved you too, Matty. I know you forget but he used to take us to the ocean. We watched you putting shells up to your ear. You said, ‘I can hear the waves,’ even though it was actual waves behind you. Those were the good days. He was sober then…..” she whispered wiping her hands on the black apron she wore.
“He adored me too before brandy became his main priority. We kissed each other before bed as well. Now he despises the sight of ME!” Mother wept knowing her boy couldn’t understand the feeling of losing someone you love.
But I did realize the pain she was going through.
“I’m sorry, Mother for getting angry. I’m just very frustrated right now. Everything seems to be going wrong. “I said pulling her close to me with one arm. My other hand gripped the oak table that had butter knife marks from Dad’s earlier tantrums.
“The Lord will provide, Matty. The Lord will provide.” my Mother repeated putting her face in my wrinkly shirt.
Then the door opened revealing a stooped figure staggering as he walked in.
Chapter Three
“Sonny, you’re home! Did you see your lady today? Where is dinner?!” grumbled my drunken Father slamming the front door shut with his foot.
My Mother shivered at the noise as she started to peel potatoes.
He moved to the lazy chair and plopped down. I stood by Mom completely frozen in fear as well as determination to protect her.
“I’m HUNGRY!” he croaked absorbed in the beer he had ice cold in his enclosed fingers.
“It’s coming along, honey.” explained Mom patiently with a small tear trailing down her quivering lip.
“Hurry it up, you lazy b-” my Dad started but I stopped him by grabbing his shirt collar and yanking his face towards mine.
I spitted carefully chosen words in his face, “ACT like an ADULT!God gave you the responsibility to protect your family and be a good person! Are you doing that? NO!!!Dad..don’t die on me or Mum. I haven’t told you this……..I’m thinking of joining up or I should say they commanded me too.”
Mom barely whispered, “Whose they?”
Father answered, “The government who do you think?”
Three days ago before even chapter one stammered with its very first word, I was sitting under the same willow sleeping lightly. My senses ignored the feeling that a post boy was nearing the tall swaying grass which tickled my laid back arms.
“You Matthew?” the red headed kid asked, touching me with the tip of his finger.
“Yes, what do you want?”
He produced a yellow envelope from his parcel bag and opened it all for me.
“Should I read it?”
I nodded with my eyes still closed shut.
“You are hear by informed that you are ordered to go overseas and join the army. If you don’t well you could let the Germans live a bloody victory. From-” said the messenger.
“STOP! I know where the letter’s from. You may go now. Thanks for your trouble.” I gave him a dollar which made him gallop down the hill with his bike rolling beside him.
Was this really happening and taking place? Me, a cripple being asked to join a valiant group of men who make quick decisions between life and death? Could that be me? Or not? Was I too scared to march into the thick of German troops as well as long coils of barbed wire? You would think that none of this would be present during a short war. I kept telling that to myself as my mind drifted back to the present.
Dad’s icy stare was now soft for by his blue pupils, brimmed tears. Mom’s peeler laid on the floor with potato shavings still attached.
“You can’t, Matty! I-we need you! We both love you too much to let you go. Father cares just as much as I. Besides you are only 18! Do you even realize the impact it will have on your sisters?! Mom explained casting a heart-broken glances at my crutches.
Speaking of the flighty devils, the three nags stomped into the living room, practically chatting as soon as they got through the front door.
Even though I care not to describe them, it seems as if it is my duty to do so. Well for starters, Sarah, the eldest of the family is what you might call the extra serious type. She has a wilted lily face which has a constellation of freckles dotted across her nose. Her very long black hair was pinned in a tight bun that reflected the attitude of a grumpy librarian.She was 20 and had the most enthusiasm during her task to collect metals for the war effort. She despised a brother who teased and I, you might say was immediately thrown into that category. Sarah didn’t enjoy flattery,compliments, or anything in the clothes department that had the slightest amount of color. So in other words:a boring individual.
“You wouldn’t believe how heavy the automobile parts were! Sarah didn’t complain one bit!” said Elizabeth who was four months younger than I.
She was my favorite. She kept on the bright side of things especially during the Lusitania tragedy. Just picture in your mind’s eye; a girl of golden locks(taking after my Mother of course), who the first hour of the day could be showing me the Waltz, then the next sobbing buckets at the loss of 1,198 innocent people on the Royal Navy ship. Her eyes were a flaring green(Dad’s side), she had a small mole on her upper lip which she tried to remove with rubbing alcohol in her younger days. She told me that a girl at her school said in the past, “She has a permanent mud mark. The boys better stay away from Miss Dirt.” Sarah shrugged like it was no big deal but I knew deep down Elizabeth cared about her appearance. She adored the latest fashion and you could count on her to read after bed rule hour, with a Vogue magazine right in front of her face.
Last but not least the child of the household; Veronica.She was 12 years of age with an attitude of a careless hyena. Veronica was all laughs even if the conversation was based on a sad subject. She I believe, is not as smart as the others and that may well be but she has a heart of gold during church….SOMETIMES. And I mean sometimes.
One day back in 1915, the “pastor”had a man carry a basket to each pew for donations, and as it reached where our family was seated, Veronica grumbled the most sacrilegious sentence. “Pastor Wilkins is far too RICH for asking for money.”
Yes, she was only nine but she was old enough to shut her mouth in church.
In my opinion, I thought she couldn’t be truer to the sense. Mr.Wilkins had an ocean cottage that displayed twisty vines on the outer brick walls. He had a recently painted boat, an expensive lizard housed in a glass case somewhere by his bed side. (Don’t ask how he got such an unusual pet because I don’t know) For a “pastor” you would think he would be interested in showing his congregation charity and humbleness.
Sarah paced about the living room with her fingers constantly scratching the back of her ears.
“Why you itching like a mutt?” asked Dad refilling his beer with another.
She didn’t reply instead moaned in agony and continued digging her nails into her pale skin.
“Elizabeth, explain.” muttered the dog/human(meaning Sarah)
“Oh, goody goody! Where to begin!!” She-she…”stammered Lizzy(our nickname for the fashion model)with all her might not to laugh hysterically.
“Do go on you’re killing me.” grumbled Sarah giving her sis a cold glare.
“ALRIGHT FINE! We were looking for metal obviously and Sarah spotted one just off into a patch of bushes. She went to haul it out then she fell head first into the bush. The other members couldn’t help but giggle like mad. Of course Sarah was furious.”
The victim quickly defended herself in a burst of rage. “AND WHY SHOULDN’T I BE MAD?! I HAD GIRLS LAUGHING AT ME EVERYWHERE I TURNED!” Veronica who was near Mother desperately managed to keep her hyena chuckles to herself at that inopportune moment.
“And now,” Lizzy produced a mean stare at Sarah’s back, “she’s red and itchy all over for….the bush happened to be poison ivy.”
Mom wiped her happy tears away from her face while saying most serious, “Your brother has been ordered to sign up with the army.”
Chapter Four
“You have to go?!!” cried the three siblings almost breaking down with emotion. I nodded gravely.
“You can’t leave us, Matty! You”ll probably die over there! I need you so much.” whimpered Lizzy plopping down on the sofa in dismay.
Sarah surprisingly let a tear roll. Did she really care for me?! Wow.
“His country needs him,” said Father backing me up even if he had booze under his belt.
“You mean Britain needs him. They’re losing so bad that they have to let a cripple hold a gun.” sobbed Elizabeth with her curls drooping in a sorry state.
“HUSH!” There are spies, girls!” whispered Mother, harshly yet forgiving.
Veronica for the first time in years marched up to me and gave me a half-hug without smiling.
“I LOVE YA, BROTHER!” she yelled grabbing onto my good leg like a leech.
“Same here, tootsie,” I said kissing her on the top of her smooth raven hair. It was too short but she did look like a cute little mushroom.
“So when you leavin’ then?” inquired my older sister who patted me on the shoulder with only one arm.
“In two weeks,”I told her.
We enjoyed the last days doing many fun things but not as fun as when I showed them my favorite spot to the sisters. It was a cloudy day for white puffy clouds quilted the sky in formations of weird ensembles. Lizzy was especially excited to see where my holy drawings and paintings took place.
As we trudged up the hill, a brightly colored figure was seen, smiling at a tiny dog which was jumping up to receive a smidge of biscuits.
“Matty, I taught Whisker a trick! He’s been ever so obedient since I found him! Come say hello, Whisker, to my friend.” cried Lucille scratching her fury friend behind the ear.
The canine licked her hand with complete affection and immediately bounded with happiness at the sight of three more ladies.
“Your sisters am I right?” asked Lucille.
“Yes, this is Sarah….Elizabeth…and lastly Veronica,” I answered pointing to my siblings at the pronunciation of their name.
“Nice to meet you. Girls, this is Whisker!”
Everyone except me awed at the terrier, even Veronica kissed him on the muzzle.
“Lucille, may I talk to you?” I asked hastily. A rain storm appeared to be moving in from the far north.
“Of course, Matty! You babysit him for me, okay?”
Sarah nodded in approval.
Lucille and I descended down to a larger field which had a gigantic oak tree centered in the middle of it. Rain started to mist across the air, making us two as well as the girls, huddle under separate green tents.
She smoothed her skirt and leaned her body against the massive trunk. I almost took her in my arms right then and there but a voice deep in my conscience told me to wait just a little bit more.
“So what were you going to tell me?” she yelled for thunder boomed directly overhead.
“I’m leaving San Francisco!” I shouted back.
She must of heard me, her whole face went stiff as a board.
“To war I imagine. Matty, you can’t leave me! Why Reynold already deserted me for a nurse over in France. His country means more than his soul,” whispered Lucille in despair.
“What do you-” I began but she interrupted me by finishing and crushing my curiosity.
“He has a baby boy. What a slut-he did it out of marriage! His fiance barely knows English and he just…..UGGH!”
This was my chance to win her heart!
“Someone else cares about you more than you think. Can you guess…..guess who it…it is?” I stammered hoping she won’t discover my shaky words.
“You?” she said looking straight at my eyes.
“Maybe,”I replied, grinning sheepishly.
“Oh, my gosh! It is you! All these FIVE YEARS AND YOU’VE NEVER SAID ANYTHING! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! MATTY, HOW COULD YOU…” she exclaimed I thought at first angrily.
“How could you wait this long!” she laughed joyfully and threw herself at me.
I caught her by the waist, lost my footing, and we went into the thick patch of weeds. Lucille landed on top of me, smooshing all the breath out of my lungs.
I wheezed trying to catch the slightest amount of oxygen.
“You alright, sweetie?” said Lucille slapping my face as if I would black out NOW.
“She called me sweetie….she felt the same!” I thought.
“Yesh, maam.” I said jokingly.
“AFTER WHAT we’ve been through you call me that! How dare you-” she didn’t finish for a certain person stopped the words by a sudden yet lovely impulse.
………We hardly talked after that.
Meanwhile my sisters were soaked to the bone, wondering what the heck I was up too.
“What’s going on?!” whined Veronica hugging Whisker(the smelly beast)close to her flat chest.
“Who knows,” said Sarah grumpily shrugging her shoulders.
“At first they were there now I don’t see anyone!” shouted Lizzy from atop a boulder that gave a person a clear advantage to see for miles.
“You know what that means.” grinned the evil Veronica petting the dog like it was a woolly mop.
“You’re KIDDING! LUCILLE SEEMS TOO NICE to murder anyone,” replied Sarah not feeling dumb in one bit.
“No, you fool! They’re kissing down there,” explained the youngest.
“How can you see that?” asked Lizzy jumping from her lookout post.
“I have a feeling.”
Elizabeth sat beside her little sis and exclaimed, “YOU AREN’T GIFTED WITH SEEING, ‘BEYOND’ ONLY GOD CAN DO THAT! Besides even with good eyesight nobody can see that far.”
Veronica stood up, brushed off her outfit, and placed her arms on her narrow hips.
“You wanna make a bet?” she said.
“I don’t DO bets,” replied Lizzy crossing her legs as the sun began to peek out from behind the storm clouds.
“OH! Do it so this spat can be over and down WITH!” thundered Sarah shaking a finger in their faces as if that would solve the problem.
“Fine. I bet Matty is just talking with Lucille.”
Then Veronica said, “He and her are smooching.”
Sarah piped up, “Now wait for them so we can see whose right but please…let’s do it SILENTLY!!”
Lucille withdrew from kissing me and struggled to plant her feet firmly on the muddy ground.
“Oh, dear! Your shirt is all muddy!” she said trying to brush me off.
“Forget it…this huge stain was worth it,” I said calmly smiling at her.
She shook her head with her tiny pretty hand slipping into mine.
“We should go back. I’m sure your sisters are angry with us for leaving them, stranded in the rain.”
“They had some shelter besides they’ve kept me waiting plenty of times.”
She began to walk with me through the tall very wet grass as a flock of ducks flew overhead in a large, “v” shape.
“There’s one question I want to ask you before we go home,” I declared grumbling when my limping leg tripped over a boulder. That was sunk from view.
“Yes?” she asked not looking away from the patch of blue sky.
“Will you marry me?” I inquired.
She stopped in her tracks, abruptly, her face resembled a freshly washed sheet of pure white. Her shoulders trembled in either shock or joy, I could not guess for she didn’t glance my direction.
“You’re not joking?” she breathed giving me the full expression.
Lucille’s eyes were wide and her lashes kept flitting about because crystal tears rolled down her cold cheeks.
“No, I’m not,” I said quite shakily, it was as if she might decline.
“I’ll be your wide, dear, dear Matty. I’ve wanted that for a long time,” she whispered placing her fingers on my jaw.
I pulled her close and kissed the soft lips which tasted of honey.
As we slowly greeted my sisters who were shivering non-stop, the youngest yelled, “I WON THE BET!!” Veronica discovered a faint red mark on my cheek.
When Sarah explained what she meant, Lucille laughed so hard I thought she would burst.
Chapter Five
Lucille and I broke the news of our engagement on the eve of two weeks before I had to leave for France. Everyone took it quite well but Mother only half smiled, it seemed a dark thought hovered on her mind.
“Congrats!” cried Veronica gaily with her hands spraying pretend rice over our heads.
“Why well done…..you beat me to the altar,” grumbled Sarah feeling almost ashamed her dopey brother won a spouse before her.
“Oh, Miss Frown, you’ll find someone who will take the joys out of life just as much as you do,” I smirked satisfied at my response.
She heated up at this but sweet Lucille calmed her with five emotional words,”A man will love you.”
This got even the most grumpy of people to smile although you could barely notice the twitching in the corners of her mouth.
As the night progressed to nearly the strike of twelve, Mother ushered me outside to have a long talk with me concerning the future.
San Francisco was covered in a blanket of thick silence, surprisingly even the breeze wished its leaves of prey would rustle. The sky was so clear the stars almost felt like as if the angels asked God if they could give one to each human on earth below.
We sat on the leaning steps of the front porch watching memories of old floating across our eyes. It was I who broke the quiet barrier of the world.
“What’s wrong, Mom, you’ve been sad ever since I told you the news? Is Lucille not perfect enough for her to be apart of this family?”
She laughed in complete hysterics with her hands wiping away shocked tears.
“You joking?! She’s more than perfect! She’s-she’s God’s gift to you! She is worth more than the diamonds in all the mines of the universe! You never let her go you understand me, boy?!”
I nodded very relieved to hear that she accepted my fiance with open arms.
“Then what is bothering you?” I asked concerned.
“You remember when you were little how I told you about the story of the tortoise and the rabbit? Well that turtle is me somehow for I can’t keep up with anything. You, on the other hand is the bunny that hops too fast for the blinking eye. I’m losing you, Matty, in the dust. You’re growing up too soon for my liking!!” she whispered choking on a sob.
“Mother, I’ll be alright you’ll see. War is an adventure full of excitement and the wonderful honor to die or serve your country! It makes us boys worthy of living in the United States. Just getting rid of the enemy is a privilege.”
Mom’s face glowed with heated emotional anger at what I thought was a good explanation.
“War is not a toy, Matty!! Many die because of it! It is a waste of human life and you think it’s good to kill young German boys such as yourself?”
I argued, “They are the ENEMY, Mom. They’re the devil’s helpers in a way. You make it seem the Nazis are innocent.”
Mom yelled with passion, “Those boys who join the German army are just as clueless as you are. Do you think they want to get killed or leave their young sweethearts behind? Of course not but they still want to fight! Why?! Because….because they believe in freedom and independence. Those young men want to be worth something in their country like you. They think serving at home is useless compared to hold a gun on the front lines. They hate to leave their families, for deep down they realize they might never return. You still think I’m stupid by saying all this?” she concluded gravely.
I replied without thinking,” No….not stupid just blind. I’m going whether you like it or not. YOU CAN’T STOP ME!”
I stood up and with nothing else to say to her, slammed the front door behind me. Not even Mother’s soft weeping made me feel guilty.
Outside, Mom looked at the bright twinkling stars while tears rolled down her trembling lips.
She sobbed, “Lord, protect him! Make him see the truth!”
She had no idea that in the heavens, God kept His word.
Tossing and turning was all I could do that night; the future swarmed me like a thousand angry bees and the past weighed extremely heavy on my mind. Mom’s heart was probably breaking right now, into tiny bits of pain. She loved me very much yet why was she trying to set me straight? I didn’t need straightening out. Especially since I was 18, 19 in July. UGGH! Why does life have to be so complicated! If only it were easy and everyone wouldn’t need to thing hard. You fool! God intended this world to be challenging not simple as a basket of pebbles.
I rubbed the back of my neck and felt something crunchy underneath the pillow. My fingers touched a crinkly piece of paper which had words quickly pressed onto it. It was from Lucille.
It read:
Dearest Matty,
I overheard you and your Mother’s conversation. Don’t be mad at her, sweetheart, she said those things for your own good and soul. Listen to her, Matty, please for me. I don’t want you to go no more than she. What if I lose you? Well if you must leave…..I can’t stop you. Or can I? You need to come to a final conclusion, dearest. And let me know the result even if it brings tears to my eyes.
Your fiance,
Lucille
P.S. I love you so!
I put the paper on the floor by tossing it aside. I was going and not anyone could ever change my mind!
Chapter Six
The next morning was a gloomy one, considering the dreary memories that crushed the family. Only thirteen more days till I would leave. Why did everyone have to be so mad about my soon departure?
Even Veronica sadly sulked by the window, watching rain drizzle on the city. She watched a lady go by with an umbrella perched on her broad shoulder; then a business man trotting down the sidewalk, carrying a wet newspaper in the crook of his arm.
She turned away and saw Mom appear from the laundry room.
“Why do I just see sad people today, Mum?” she asked.
“Are you sad? Sure looks like it,” replied Mother who was about to make her husband Irish coffee. Instead of adding brandy she put four drops of vanilla, which Jack believed to be alcohol.
“Well, I am….but not as sad as you might think,” lied Veronica wiping a small sincere tear away.
“Oh, is that so? You’re not going to miss Matty?” wondered Mom stopping her work to listen to her daughter’s answer.
“Not too badly because he’ll return-right?”
“I hope so,” whispered Veronica’s Mother who tried not to choke up.
“He will I know it! Yesterday he told me the most shocking news! He said exactly this, ‘ Veronica, no one needs a God. You can survive without Him’ And you know….he meant it too.” her daughter cried with distress.
“He’s just going through a phase, Miss Hyena. Once he’s over in Paris he’ll be on his knees for us to take him home.”
All that time I overheard them talking, about my supposed weak natures and the ability to lean on my Mother, hand in hand.
Lucille was away at a wedding shop in Los Angeles, with anticipation rising in her heart to be dubbed Mrs.
Against my parents’ wishes we would be married at her church. It was a traditional Catholic parish called, “St. Cecelia’s,” which had beautiful statues along with detailed slabs of the Passion of Our Lord.
My sisters only enjoyed the new parish as, “a change of scenery, ” even Veronica hated the concept of a Catholic priest.
I walked in on their secret conversation, making it secret….no more.
“Talking behind my back I see!!” I growled, glaring at the two.
“No-no we weren’t,” snapped Veronica trying not to show she, a smart girl, wouldn’t give into her older brother.
“YOU DAM-” I began, “sorry for my mouth but seriously why?!”
“We weren’t being cruel, Matty ,” said Mom rather in a panic haste. Her sweet boy was about to turn against her.
“DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT AFTER WHAT YOU’VE DONE!! I’m starting to HATE YOU ALL! Yes, you, Mom and you, Veronica! EVERYONE! Lucille is the one who loves me not you!!! If I die I’m glad to be in hell! I screamed in their faces.
“No! Don’t say that, Matthew! We love you so much!” sobbed Mother who backed away from her son’s forceful grip.
“Matty, please stop!!” wailed Veronica hiding behind one of the sturdy kitchen chairs.
Then by God’s will I started to calm down from my violent rage. But my cool words still pierced my family very deeply.
“Lucille and I will elope. It will take convincing but I’ll-I’ll prove to her you don’t deserve to set foot in where the ceremony is.”
Veronica peeped her head out and whispered in broken chokes, “I can’t be your flower girl?”
That sweet face was no match for my firmness.
“No! YOU WON’T!”
She and Mother wept in each other’s arms as I left the house to drive to see Lucille.
Guilt swallowed me but it was too late. The wounds were already inflicted.
Chapter Seven
Los Angeles didn’t have the tall skyscrapers of today but there were glass buildings; standing proud under the sweltering sun.
The wedding shop, ” Wish n’ Dress, ” was chock full of gowns that cluttered every space. The dresses, themselves, ranged from long trains to shorter skirts.
I traveled inside, looking left and right to locate my gorgeous bride. A saleswoman found me peeking in the trying-on stalls.
“No, NAUGHTY MAN!” she squeaked, ” You shouldn’t be in here . . . especially since ladies are dressing.”
She wore her hair in a tight bun on the top of her head which let forth wisps every time she shook her body in annoyance. She bugged me with that mouse-like quality in her voice.
“Get out, sir, ” she commanded grumpily.
“But I-” my lips stammered in confusion.
“It’s okay he’s with me, ” a voice said sternly behind me.
I turned around to see an angel descending from a white round pedestal. Her hair shone like an auburn gold which hung loose on her shoulders; the red lips twitched in a caring smile, the freckles glowed on her nose.
Was I dreaming?
The dress was long, made of pure silk and the train had fake pearls crested in a cross. The top went up to below her neck in a stenciled rose pattern.
She was my soul mate for life . . . now and forever. Till death do us part.
“How do I look?” she asked innocently.
“Beau . . . ti-ti . . . ful.”
She laughed causing her eyes to shine a brilliant blue.
“You can talk, Matty! God gave you a voice. Wait . . . ”
She noticed my serious expression.
“What’s wrong, honey?”
Lucille took my hands in her small, dainty ones.
“We’re . . . eloping, ” I replied inching away from her warming embrace/
“Why? You said we could get married in St. Cecelia’s! ” she cried, almost heartbroken.
“I’m sorry, Lucille- ”
“No! No apologies! How could . . . you do such a thing to me and your family? ” her eyes widened in sorrow.
I could feel my heart turning into stone.
“I HATE THEM!” I argued, gripping her wrists tightly.
“Let me go! What have you become?” she yelled. The saleswoman soon heard her.
“Sir! Abuse is not allowed in this store or anywhere for that matter, ” the employee cried, trying her best to get my hands off Lucille.
I finally gave up and fell to the floor . . . weeping.
My fiance knelt down beside me and placed her fingers on my cheek. Her dress rustled as she shifted her legs to a more comfortable position.
“Matty, do you want to talk about it? What are you feeling inside?” trembled Lucille’s voice with a note of tenderness.
I managed to choke out, “I’m sorry! Please forgive me!”
She took me in her arms and started stroking my hair fondly.
“There’s nothing to forgive, dearest. I know you’re going through a difficult time, ” after a pause she asked, “are you scared?”
“Scared of maybe losing you? Y . . . es you’re all I have now, ” I whispered looking into her compassionate gaze.
“You have your mother, father, and three pesky sisters. And hey, you got Whiskers, ” she smiled by mentioning her pet.
“Whiskers, oh yeah, I’ll miss him the most.”
Lucille replied grinning, “Better not.”
Then the worker piped up in the background, “Is he hurting you, miss?”
“No, not at all. And remember it’ll be Mrs.”
The mouse grumbled, “I’m surprised she’s still marrying that creep.”
We got up from the floor and kiss. It was the sweetest kiss in the world and only Lucille could deliver those. It was hard to realize these kisses wouldn’t last forever.
If only you couldn’t send them in letters.
“Now you gotta go. It’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress, ” commanded Lucille.
“Even at the church?” I asked.
“We’re not eloping? Oh, you!” she kissed me once more and let me go.
She was my angel . . . I really needed her in the hell I was going to.
Chapter Eight (Finally here!)
Walking through the misty rain proved similar to my thoughts. They were cloudy, foggy, and confusing. But they all turned toe one thing: fear of losing the people I love most.
What would become of Lucille if my body was lost overseas, or worse my Mother who relied on me to protect her from Dad? My sisters were be heartbroken for months, that’s a given. I’m not trying to state I’m so important, but they would miss me.
The train station crept on me sooner than I expected. Lucille, after a days time of thought, decided it would be best to wait till the war was over. She forgot the important piece of the matrimony puzzle; I had to be baptized in order to be wedded in St. Cecelia’s church.
My family was overjoyed at the news of us putting it off. Mother wished Lucille would see the positives of the Lutheran religion before I came home . . . if I ever did.
White, heavy smoke billowed around me, as the train pulled into the station. A couple of soldiers were leaving with me for many already left to go fight.
I noticed a young man of about twenty-five by the ticket booth.
He wore a greenish-gray uniform that hung loose from his small muscle build. A leather kit bag was slung over his right shoulder. He looked my direction and gave a fake smile. I wasn’t the only one who was scared.
Since neither my family, nor Lucille was there yet to say their final goodbyes, I thought it would do no harm to introduce myself to him.
His gaze was upon the tip of my boots, as if something fascinating was happening at that very spot.
“Hello, ” I said shortly.
“Ello, ” he replied, meeting my eyes.
His face appeared tired and worn down with weights of painful sorrow. It was the first time I saw a pair of spectacles on the end of his nose.
“I see you’re joining up. Going to France then?” I asked.
“Aye, that I am. Too sad to leave American though, ” he answered with his thick accent. A lump formed in his throat and he cleared it slowly.
“I’m Matthew, ” my hand took his for a quick shake.
“Christopher. ”
“Are you from Europe?” I said, feeling panic for my loved ones weren’t here beside me.
“Ya, Ireland if ya haven’t guessed already, ” he answered, showing a white smile.
“Ya look worried, Matty. Are ya waitin’ for yer lass to give ya one last kiss?” he said, stroking his chin, though he had no stubble to rub.
“You might say that, ” I replied.
“How far are yer family and the lass from the station?”
“About forty minutes.”
“They’ll be here soon, I reckon.”
A group of smoke-covered figures emerged from behind the coal car. It was Lucille, Mother, and trailing were my three sad sisters.
Veronica had a blue bonnet tied tightly around her face. Her lips wore a sour expression. She hated to wear hats of any kind. She said to me plenty of times in the past, “Boys have it easy. Girls don’t.”
“I’ll let ya say goodbye to your kin, ” said Christopher with a slight hop onto the train.
I turned to my family, who just stood there, completely still.
Lucille was the first one to walk up to me.
Chapter Nine Coming Sorta Soon 🙂
Historical Fiction
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I really enjoyed this story. Did I think it was thrilling? Yes. Did I think it was romantic?
Absolutely! The ending was so intense. I can’t wait to see where it goes.
I really loved the sentence, “The weeping willows moaned in the soft breeze of spring that played with the pages of my art book.” It was beautiful; I felt like I could hear the weeping willows moaning.
My second favorite sentence was: “She despised the freckles dotted across her nose but I thought:lovelier than the sea shells gathered at the bottom of the ocean.” That is so sweet. I want someone who thinks about me like that.
Some suggestions I have, however, are these:
Stay away from being verbs and passive tense. Think about how you speak in real life. Would you say, “Ever since being born?” Probably not. You’d more likely say “Since I was born.”
When you’re done, read your work out loud and see if it feel natural. For example, say this out loud: “They had me receive Communion at age six due to the circumstance of my heart began failing.” It’s a bit muddled and confusing, right? You can instead say something simple like, “They had me receive Communion at age six because my heart was failing.” Easy, straightforward, clear.
Lastly, try and stay away from run-on sentences. Commas can be your best friend. If you say a sentence out loud, add a comma anywhere you pause. For example, the sentence “California had its positives and negatives for example on the bad side you dealt with too many people,gangs,and stealing but there was beautiful hills to roam.” would be grammatically correct if written like this: “California had its positives and negatives; you dealt with too many people, gangs, and stealing, but there were beautiful hills to roam.”
Also think about adding spaces between punctuation. It makes it much easier on the eyes when reading.
I came across this work as you just recently posted the 8th chapter. I have enjoyed other works by you so I had to read the whole thing. I have a lot to say, so I’ll break it up in pieces by chapter. I don’t want to give you notes line by line because that can be discouraging.
Generally, there are some things in here that are just going to need to be researched better. Have you read a lot of fiction or historic accounts of the era? I think it’s 1915/1916. You reference the Lusitania which was 1915 but it didn’t seem to be a recent event when you talked about it in Ch 3. America didn’t even enter WWI until April of 1917, but I think there may have been a few troops being loaned to Canadian or British forces. That would make the streets being full of soldiers anachronistic.
I’d recommend doing some research on daily events of the time. You reference metal drives, for example, which feels very period. I know they did that kind of thing in the 40s during WWII, but what did a metal drive in 1915 look like? Were they really going out poking around in the bushes? Also, take into consideration the styles of the day. Did women really dress colorfully as a rule? Does this family actually have the means to have a car if the father wastes money on booze and the mother doesn’t work outside the home? Average families made $687 per year. A car was about $6500. It doesn’t really add up that he can just jump in a car and drive for nearly 6 hours to catch his lady at a dress salon.
Which brings me to this:
Matthew’s voice and word choices (diction) don’t sound like the relatively mature thoughts of an 18-year-old, basically an adult, who has dealt with a disability his entire life. He is exceedingly emotional and screams at people over trivial matters. That isn’t to say he couldn’t break down at one point or another, but the only son of a drunk who tries to protect his mother would sound a lot more grown up out of necessity. I’m curious as to why the letter from the government was so hastily written as well. Why do they need this ‘cripple’ to come fight in the war?
Does Lucille not have parents? People who would have expected Matthew to act in a certain way toward their daughter, meeting with them for months before to “court” their daughter, asking the father for her permission to marry her, etc. Different social mores than today, certainly. To that point, her talking about her old fiance in Ch 4 was problematic. “What a slut” (anachronism, and very derogatory) and her reference to him “doing it outside of marriage” would have been absolutely taboo. Young people were not permitted to socialize without a chaperone so talking about sex and especially so offhandedly just wouldn’t have happened, unless Lucille isn’t as pure as she seems? Another anachronism in that scene is “oh, my gosh”– akin to taking the Lord’s name in vain, so it wouldn’t have been used.
One thing that made this a little difficult to read is the grammar and typo problems. You skipped lines entirely, for example when Lucille decides to name the dog Whiskers. She goes from being freaked out (screaming out in public causing enough commotion for managers et al to come over to check on her) to wanting to adopt the mutt, which is great, but then the dog is just added to the party with no decision on what to call him. It was jarring for me to read.
Ch 3
How is Elizabeth four months younger than her brother? Unless she’s adopted, that’s biologically impossible.
Ch 4
Switching the point of view to the sisters while Matthew and Lucille are talking is a no-no. You established us in the first person so it needs to stay there. If the sisters have something to say to them when they come back from smooching they can giggle and Matthew can notice it or they can make those great comments about “I won the bet” because that shows the readers they have been talking and speculating. They can react and complain about the rain to him too. “You left us here forever” “We thought you’d eloped” and the like.
Ch 5
There’s a lot of “yelling” in this piece, so I’d suggest choosing more varied words, perhaps ones that contain the emotion better. Yelling is something we do when we’re so keyed up we kind of lose control.
Do Nazis believe in freedom and independence? More data needed, because WWI was a war over boundary lines. That’s where research comes in handy so you can have your characters talk about and deal with their historic era in an accurate way. Makes it sound like they read the newspapers.
I like the mom’s prayer. Could Matthew linger on the front porch, maybe he’s about to go back in and apologize, when he hears the words drift through an open window or something.
Ch 7
There would not have been an ‘n’ in that shop title. That wasn’t even a thing until the last 10 years.
So really, it’s a great idea that needs some research to make it truly solid and a good read. I love period pieces, and believe me, the internet is your friend when it comes to avoiding anachronisms.
PS:
I’m sorry if that’s an overwhelming amount of information above. One of the great things about a writing site like this is that we can work together to make better art. I mean everything I said with a note of encouragement and positivity. I tried to offer concrete examples so that you could easily see what I mean at certain points. I don’t ever want you to give up on writing. The world needs your story and your voice. So study hard, learn all you can, read all you can, and apply what you learn every time you sit down to write.
Oh thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! I can tell you love my writing! I won’t stop doing it thank you very much
Being Catholic is who I am and what I believe in. If that’s not what you believe then just keep it to yourself. Thank you.
No one said anything about you being Catholic.