Note:: Ace is a butt hole
Five
Jade Morgan Greene
“WHAT HURTS?” THE doctor asks, slightly lifting my shirt. He takes in all the scars that my mom gave me, my ribs protruding from my skin, and the dark bruises forming on them.
“The things you’re looking at,” I snap, resisting the urge to push him away. I know it’s for my own good, but I can’t help but flinch as he prods the ribs gently. I’ve never liked doctors.
“Well, first off,” the young doctor says, his gelled hair shining in the light, “you’re extremely malnourished, that much is obvious. A majority of your ribs are badly bruised. I’d say just rest a few days, then you should be good. And get some food.”
As soon as he’s done, I smack his hand, thankfully not his face, and pull my shirt back down. He hands me a bottle.
“Take one every two hours,” he advises, then smiles at me. I glare at him, grab my cross-body bag from off the chair by the door, and exit. The lobby is empty. Of course Ace left. Not that he was my ride or anything. I quickly pop a painkiller in my mouth, using my spit to swallow it. I sigh. I can’t call Brittany. She’s home sick with a stomach virus. Definitely not Dad. He’ll worry and call the cops. Not Ace – I don’t have his number. Plus, he just left me at the hospital.
I mutter a string of profanities under my breath and walk out of the door. It’s probably not the best idea to walk home with hurt ribs, but I have no other choice. I type my home address into my phone and begin the long journey home.
Realistic Fiction
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Uber? Lyft?
I like the detail about the gelled hair shining in the light. That tells me something about the environment.
Why doesn’t she want her Dad to call the police? What’s wrong with him finding out that she just got attacked and nearly raped? Also, why isn’t he calling the police right now since she’s out late at night and hasn’t come home yet? There’s not enough information about their relationship for us to appreciate her point of view right now. When you go back and flesh this out, make sure to build that bridge in there so we can understand why it seems to be burned.
Walking home with bruised ribs would be awful.