I choose to stand by my convictions. I choose to stand by my principles. I choose to stand for what is just. I stand for humanity, strong mental health and well being for all. She tells me she was assaulted by a woman on her job and she didn’t even know he was cheating with her. She tells me he often disrespects her by coming home periodically instead of consistently, belittling her constantly, but demanding her upmost obedience and acceptance of his bad behavior and disrespect. When you see or hear of violence against another person, so you stand by and say, “oh, it will get better, he really didn’t mean it.” Do you think to tell her hang in there, he will change, he knows hitting you is wrong? Do you allow mistreatment and disrespect to abound when you are told of it? NO! Obviously, she wanted advice or help because she would have never told you this was happening/had happened.
Well, I know my brother and I didn’t grow up together after age 10, but I never knew he ended up like that whereas it was ok to hit women. I search back immediately after 20 years for a moment to think how could he be like this, where did he go wrong? I then knew my answer but immediately I came back to the discussion at hand. I told her merely, if you are not happy, you should leave. I told her that is not love and not healthy.
I never knew those words would have such an impact on her, that she would purposely stay with him and try to profess her love and devotion to him even more. Why did she think that would would get him to improve his behavior towards her? After all, according to her, he has been cheating for the past 10 years and she knows this! Awful. I didn’t want to hear anymore. I left. That was the first and last time I saw or spoke my brother in 20 years, since we were teens.
Well she ended up proving her love so much, she was hospitalized I hear for three days near death.
The ironic part, he disowned me, told me he wouldn’t speak to me anymore and have trashed my good name all over facebook for all our little town to hear his untold real truth in this matter. She also didn’t like me as well because I merely said, if you are not happy leave. I haven’t told her anything her family hasn’t said to her a million times. She was just mad that his own sister would agree with what her family has constantly told her before. I can’t believe she thought I would say hang in there, it’s my brother after all. Now, after all I am a woman, I would never allow this to happen to me so why would I encourage someone to stay in that unhealthy vain existence of a relationship. I guess he thought I would not provide my opinion when told of this. Did they both think I would be loyal? Why would they both think I would condone this? Just because I am sister, you are wrong and I will never agree with this behavior. Ironically, I never told her to leave him, I was trying to get her to see she deserved to be happy and in this case happiness in my opinion is to leave and walk away. I heard she survived, the hospital repaired her bruises and body, I had just hoped she repaired her soul and left while she still had life. After all, she has to be a role model to her previous marriage of two beautiful girls. Did she really want them to grow up in that and think that type of person is okay to have?
Even though I don’t have a brother, I don’t care. I have to live with my myself if I didn’t say anything. My mind is clear. I chose to stand by my convictions. I chose to stand by principles. I choose right.
Narrative Nonfiction
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This is very saddening. The cycle of abuse is a brutal one. Love is truly blind, for sometimes it does not condemn harsh treatment. Instead, it welcomes it with open arms. It is devastating to find a friend or a family member caught in the cycle. For something we see as so clearly wrong, they will never see it as such. We can try to help them as much as possible, but after much deliberation and refusal of our help, it is then up to them to learn, and all we can do is hope to God that they will.