I spent my life in 6 different countries around the world, lived in more than 20 cities, been educated from 13 different institutes, and changed homes 24 times, and counting.
Why, you ask? It was due to my father’s career change, immigration, financial constraints, problems with rental property, my marriage, becoming home owners, and now my husband’s contract jobs.
I often wonder when it will all end? When will I finally settle down and sow some roots? With my lifestyle, I don’t think it will ever happen, which is okay. I’m sure there are lots of other people out there like me, or far worse.
Let me tell you what the worst part about moving really is, other than the obvious inconvenience and adjustment process. For me, it was leaving behind the people I met along the way.
Unbelievably, I have never revisited any place that I left ever again. That chapter of my life completely closes whenever I leave a place. I never speak to the people from my old areas, unless our paths happen to cross by coincidence some years later, which is rare. This just helps me with the grieving process of yet another location change.
Sometimes the distances are so great, that it has been nearly a decade since I last saw my parents, and half that time since I met my siblings. I am starting to forget the faces of my relatives and the names of my friends.
Many of my moves have been for the better, while others have not been. I hate change, although I have been proven wrong from time to time. When you despise something so much, it seems to happen over and over again. Moving follows me around like a magnet. I honestly don’t know if I will be in the same place next year as I am in now. It’s just a hassle that I have come to accept.
Please comment below if any of you have had a similar experience!
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I personally haven’t experienced this, but my mom was a “military brat” so she was constantly moving around. She is one of eight children, and all of her siblings were born in a different state. Luckily for her, she was able to settle down in her adult life and establish long term relationships, and she vowed that I would go to the same high school all four years. I can’t understand what it must be like for you, but I do feel for you. I’m glad you’ve found some acceptance in it all, though.
However, I am curious how you still hate change. It seems like it would have become so commonplace now, that at the very worst you’d be indifferent to it.
You are absolutely right! I have become indifferent to it, but I hate how it has affected personal relations. Back in the 90s right up to the early 2000s, kids didn’t have the smart phones and easy internet access as they do now. That is how I lost most friends. I tried looking up many of them, but it just wasn’t the same, when you don’t have face to face meetings.
Yeah, that’s one of the pluses of growing up in age of technology- if you want to stay in touch with someone you will, and if neither of you put in that effort, it shows the true strength (or lack thereof) of that relationship.
Right again! Initially, I would write to friends as a pen pal, then I started using email or phone calls. Now video calls make the conversations much more personal, but the truth is, I still miss getting together.
It seems as if the moves of your youth have followed you. Now you are married to a contractor, and that causes those moves. It seems maybe you like it. I have done it a bit myself and found it distressing like you. But the change was always very exciting and the thought of a new place and new people to meet was intoxicating.
Don’t let yourself get to muddled in the people you leave behind. You met them and grew to know them. For good or I’ll and that is something. Look forward to those new places and people. You say you don’t like change but I would bet you hate stagnation just as much. Some day you might get your forever home, but till then relish in being able to experience so much.
Yes, the packing, address changes, and everything that comes with the move is very distressing. But you are right that the anticipation and excitement feels great too. It is a fresh start to improve yourself as a person. I guess stagnation would get too boring. Thanks for the encouragement!
When I was a kid I moved a lot due to my dad’s career and it was never easy for me. Changing schools, introducing myself again and again on my first day, making new friends all over again, not being able to be in touch with my good old friends and adjusting to the new place- all of this was never easy.
But then when I finally settled down in a place and have been there for almost 16 years now I feel so happy and contended. And now that I have a best friend for life, a beautiful house and a city so full of life everything seems to be in place and I my life finally feels perfect!
I am really happy that you have found your permanent home and a circle you love! You definitely deserve it!
I have not changed many houses. But I have changed many jobs in a foreign country. Now I am too tired to change and sick dealing with sick people. Some people are sick in the head and you have to deal with them every day and you cannot leave them. Hope you settle soon.
My friend stayed with her kids and let her husband move alone. Now when they are retired, they live together and enjoy their life. Money is important to live and if a couple can adjust together moving, it should be fine. At least you have your partner with you. We lived in two countries changed 7 houses in one country and four in a foreign country. Finally, we are settled but grew old. Now our kids want us to move closer to them. Hope they help us to move. We cannot move all stuff and it is hard to leave behind many good things we used and bought with hard earned money. But one day we have to leave all. So stay happy with what you have. In modern time you can always keep in touch with old friends.
I hope you look back and feel that you still led a good life despite the hardships. Best of luck with moving closer to your kids! Family is everything. Take good care.