Along the road we walked, just trying to get home.
Over a bridge we walked, too tired to talk.
Through the rain we walked, with fast feet.
Against the wind, we walked, passed the lights with warm cozy people.
Nobody was awake to call.
We had never been this far from home, nor out this late, and surely we would get in trouble if we told.
We saw something we shouldn’t have.
A murder, bloody and wrong, from one guy to another.
A shot in the head was all it took to put a man out if his misery.
A fight, when it started, was all punches.
Yells and screams, bad with intent, hurt insides more than outs.
We saw it, with our bloodshot eyes.
We were just having fun.
We never thought…we never knew…
Never in our wildest dreams did we think we would get in more trouble than intended.
The guy was so quick, so smooth to pull the trigger.
Like he had done it before.
The man, covered in blood, walked away smiling.
Never knowing that someone had watched him do his deed.
But it was too dark, too dark to tell what the strange man looked like.
Too dark to tell what he was wearing even.
It would be no use to go to the cops, they would laugh in our faces.
Now, walking home in our gloom, we can still hear the man’s screaming, pleading to be spared.
Short Stories
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You definitely achieved a menacing tone in your short story to compliment the scenario, well done! I enjoyed the mystery and rebellion from the characters witnessing the murder and could picture this tall lanky figure with a smirk and blood-soaked walking away from the crime scene. Your storytelling is very blunt and worked well in the development of the story.
I like these sentences:
–Through the rain we walked, with fast feet.
–Never knowing that someone had watched him do his deed.
I would like to know a little bit more about the surroundings from your point of view so I’m not filling in as many blanks when imaging the scene. Overall I enjoyed your story, but would suggest writing short stories in paragraph form. When I read a piece formatted like this I associate that with a poem and then I want everything to rhyme. I like the dramatic effect of the sentences dropping off, but I’m a bit rigid and enjoy chunks of text as opposed to spaced lines.
Thank you. This is actually one of my favorites. I actually wrote it originally intending it to be a poem, not all poems need to rhyme. Though I, too, want it that way a lot of the time. I thought I had put something in there about it being in an alley behind a bar but I may have missed that line when copying it from my portfolio to here. I will add that line a little later. I am glad you liked it though!