Hey there,
I just wonder how you accept a group of friends that were once very tight and were all drove away by something that shouldn’t have ever happen. I have learned my lesson in all of this. We were all a group of friends that had a lot of fun until one friend we should call him Jay, decided he was going to cross the friend zone with me, and I was already in a relationship that was unfortunately falling apart. Being vulnerable and stupid, I fed into Jays comments and words of affirmation and at the time I had a friend who she is married but was also talking me out of letting things continue with me and Jay. I will not display true names for the confidentiality of others and this being a published blog.
Anyway, Jay had a way about him that seemed to draw people in, and he had a way of manipulating others and basically doing things that he should of never be doing or even thought about in the first place. My friend at the time that I will call her Katie, she gets curious and is now talking to Jay that I cared so much about and was just trying to be there for him and be the best friend I could be. As she found out about all of the details with me and Jay the talking and the feelings that were accumulating just kept on. Katie begins to tell me that she is now talking to Jay and she starts seeking the same attention as I was getting from Jay. but little did she know the pages were all going to turn. Katie’s husband trusted Jay and was close friends with Jay until one day everything had to come to an end. I knew things needed to stop between me n Jay because he was only trying to see how far he could go and that he really was not looking out for my best interest.
On that Saturday my S/O decides that he wants to confront me about things he had been seeing that he did not think as right and was starting to have a familiar feeling about what had been going on with me an Jay. I knew that I could no longer keep it from him and that I needed to wake up and see the bigger picture. Of course things went south when confronted about everything. I came out and told everything. as a friend to Katie’s husband I thought I would let him know as well about what was going on. After knowing that I would be loosing one of my best friends Jay, because he couldn’t keep his thoughts, feelings and hands to himself. That was the consequence I though we both would have to live with. Turns out its just one of this that was going to be going through the real pain and heart ache. After all the drama and the whole ting being made out to be a huge deal. Katie and her husband had decide to still talk to Jay after Jay almost ruined their marriage. Katie s husband gave me dirty looks knowing that if it wasn’t for me he wouldst have known about what was really going on.
Knowing how I felt about everything, Katie decides she is going to go hang out with Jay in front of my face. Jay also lives right across the street from me, so there is no avoiding him or no getting away from the reality of how things have really changed. Jay claimed that I had ruined his life and that he has lost everything. Jay didn’t loose anything but just me, he still has everything and his some of his friends too. he is lucky and is not feeling half of what I have been feeling. I feel like there needs to be some evaluating with my friendships that I have because. a friend is not going to hang out with the person you lost in front of you. Katie also watched turmoil happen in my own home where a huge fight broke out. so if anything, my life was falling apart and Im the one that got messed up over this no one else. and my S/O Stood behind me every step of the way. Jay apologized to Katie’s husband about what happened. Jay never apologized to me or my S/O for taking advantage of me being vulnerable and knowing the consequences we could all face because of it.
Should Kaite even have my friendship? or should I just let her know how crappy it was of her to do this all in front of my face knowing, Jay was my friend first, before anybody? Tell me what you guys think? I will avoid all negativity because this is a discussion not a place of judgement.
Realistic Fiction
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I know you don’t want to hear this, but everyone is in the wrong. You emotionally cheated on your boyfriend. You weren’t a victim of Jay- you were a willing participant. And while you and Jay were talking, you weren’t exclusive.
However, Katie and Jay were both bad friends. My advice? Both of you dump Jay, because he’s bad news and doesn’t value or respect you as a person.
I agree with you completely. WE all were in the wrong for sure. its just accepting the facts ya know. thanks for the in put