I’ve had this fixation on whether I’d be happy or not. It’s probably because I have the feeling deep down I just don’t accept it. It’s like I don’t know what it is till I get hurt. I’ve come to the realization, that I’ve always had the feeling of being happy. I guess it’s just this excuse I keep to protect myself from something. I’m not different from anyone else. I have my ups and downs the same as everyone else. I don’t know what I’m so scared of honestly. That problem is for another day. I’ll solve that just like I’ve solved this. The reason I’ve written this is because it’s something that has hurt me more than anything. I use to cry and beg for an answer for why I’d never be happy. Now I know that it was all in my head. I’m happy. I’m happy with the relationships I have with the people I love. I’ve never been so relieved to find out that I can be happy, and that I do get happy. This feeling I feel writing this, is the feeling of being happy.
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