Sometimes I want to scream.
Sometimes I want to dream.
Sometimes I want to cry.
Sometimes I want to die.
Sometimes I’m happy.
Sometimes I’m sad.
Sometimes, things just get bad.
Sometimes I feel nothing.
Sometimes I feel everything.
When I scream, I scream because I’m hurting inside.
When I dream, I’m in a loving, hopeful, wonderful world of my own.
When I cry, it’s because I’ve tried too hard to be something I’m not.
When I want to die, it’s because everything is piling up and its starting to get heavy
Or, sometimes nothing happens.
It’s just what I want
Death is supposed to be blissful, Calm
But sometimes, its slow, and painful
Sometimes, you don’t have to dead to not be alive
You don’t have to have something wrong to be in pain
You don’t have to have someone passing to be depressed
Sometimes, out of the blue; everything will come crashing down over top of me
Sometimes I’ll be able to get out of it
Sometimes I wont
I’ll be stuck
When things come crashing down over top of me,
My whole world becomes dark, and floods
I drown, but everyone else is breathing
Sometimes, you don’t want to live.
But you’re too scared to die.
And sometimes, you don’t think
And just die
because you know exactly how to, and you can’t continue the fighting anymore
And then you’re done
Your story ends.
-Justin Thorne, Danny Brown
Biography
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I enjoyed reading your poem. It caused me to think deeply about the topics you covered. Your writing is very much real and relatable. The first nine lines are interesting. They remind us of all of the feelings we experience.
“When I want to die, it’s because everything is piling up and it’s starting to get heavy.” I think just about everyone can relate to this idea at some point in their life. I think it is especially relatable for younger people; those going through college and working hard to become a successful adult.
You also discussed the idea that sometimes we feel sad and hopeless even if nothing has really happened. This is oftentimes the most frustrating kind of pain because we don’t know how to fix it.
Positive thoughts go a long way. Things could always be worse, and it is important to be grateful for what we have. Appreciating the good things in our life can evoke happiness from deep within.
A meaningful, simplistic poem. Sounds as if the narrator suffers from BPD… Perhaps not the intent, but a great poem to describe the affects of the symptoms.
Suggestions:
I recommend remaining consistent with punctuation throughout your poem. An instance of “wont” was missing an apostrophe. Full sentences in the beginning of the poem had ended in punctuation. Meanwhile, further down, full sentences were missing the same end punctuation accounted for in the beginning. Maintaining consistency provides you as the author with credibility.
I am actually curious as to whether the last two names you have provided at the bottom is a way of showing readers a collaboration or if these famed celebrities are your inspiration for the poem.
Difficulties will arise and yet we persevere. Yes, some days we cannot find the energy to get out of bed. Yes, some days we have no desire to socialize and call our beds a bittersweet home. Yes, some days we build fantasies in our heads and play monarchy ignoring reality. These moments will pass, I promise you. There will be days where productivity will liven your heart and passion will submerge the pain and fill the void. You will laugh deeply and loudly and smile so bright that your cheeks will begin to glow. Happiness is on the way.
With warmth,
Michelle R.
The two names at the bottom are me ( Justin Thorne) , ANd the second one ( Danny Brown), is my friend who helped me write it.