Welcome to the seventh grade you scoundrels
It is I, your teacher Mr. Clyde Shawn Whitworth
And I don’t mess around with you teenager scum
So please behave yourselves and it’ll be a fun year
So give your warmest welcome to our new student
Why don’t you go on up and introduce yourselves?
Starting with you first please go up and tell us calmly
Hi I’m Hughes Macklin Griffley and I’m a boy of thirteen
And hello I’m Jordina Rosabeth Carter and I’m thirteen
Hiya y’all I’m Gualberto Enríquez and I’m fourteen so hey
And I’m Jerraline Rosenbaum and I am thirteen as well
Nice to meet y’all I’m Gracibelle McFarlane and I’m fifteen
What do you have to say Mr. Griffley? Please say it aloud
I’ve got to say is please seventh graders beware, here I come
So watch out you silliest and I’ll be awaiting for my girl too
What’s her name you gotta ask me? Her name is Gladys
Hello I’m Jocelyn Patricia Cartwright and I’m a girl of thirteen
Nice to meet y’all I’m Frédérique Philippe Roufflé and I say hi
Golly that means I’m Graciella Roselle Rowe, thirteen and a girl
Well that’s enough of the introducing of yourselves I had enough
Welcome to the seventh grade all of you wonderful human beings
And you may only call me Mr. Whitworth or Mr. W if you remember
It’s been one heck of a year for you all last year except Mr. Griffley
Well I can’t say but don’t bug him, that shall go for all of you bullies
Let’s begin with the teaching already so I’ll begin with the teacher
Now how about we start off with a mathematics lesson with multiples
We’re all excited no? How about Mr. Griffley starts us off with smartness
Ok I’mma ’bout to show ya my knowledge and I don’t wanna cheat ya
Opening up your textbooks to pages 1-17, we’ll begin with Chapter One
Try this one on for size. What will be your best guess with 122 times 45?
Yes you in the pink and red blouse? What’s your answer? Please say it now
I’m guessing it’ll be 5,490 and am I correct? I just want you to make sure
Can’t you see that you’re correct ma’am? That’s the right answer anyways
So it can’t be anymore right then that. How about y’all try another problem?
Solve this one please. What will be y’all guess on 105 times 37? Please solve
As a raise of hands please show me your hands in the air. And solve this one
Yes you in the jean jacket and jeans. What will be your answer to give kind sir?
Yeah the answer is 3,885. Am I correct or no? Yes it’s correct and you’re so smart
Why thank you Hughes and I appreciate your kindness towards me and the others
Now try this problem please. What’s 85 x 19? Please can’t y’all try and solve this one?
There’s a student way in the back who solved it. He solved the answer really quick
His answer is 1,615 and he’s correct. Welcome back you smarter seventh graders
Now that the class day is over and I can’t wait to see you all leave my classroom today
Have fun while you go home as y’all have passed this class and you’re in grade eight
Poetry
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