"Letters in Disguise ” twin faces”"
Dear brother,
Thank you for the gaping hole you left in my chest. I used it to finally escape the cage disguised as my ribs. I tumbled out of the wound screaming newborn cries, looking for you even though I knew you was gone. Denying your demise and cursing my rebirth, I knew you were the change I was being prepared for. Every life lessons learned in the last couple weeks, prior to your death, has prepared me for this very moment. I saw in my mind’s eye the things I would accomplish, that just a few hours ago, I didn’t think I could. I know your death is going to be the wind against my back to everything I ve been working towards. I felt the strength necessary to carry out the building blocks of my deepest desires. Saw the determined look in my eyes when the water falls allowed me to see. I tossed and turned in puddles of tears until I tucked my self under the blankets of memories. The very day you died i woke up feeling strange. Thought is was just the solar flares or just part of awakening. Ended the day dancing under the strawberry full moon, smiling like a loon at all we’re manifesting. You were dead a few hours by then and I took guilt by the throat when he tried to influence me. Nothing is going to stand in my way of feeling all you left behind, no matter how much it hurts. You taught me that, not everybody deserves my quality of love. Reminded me to ask myself why I was so attached to negative ideas said about me. You was the only one to believe me when I said I had super powers and the only person I told about the man in my head I was in love with. I remember I laughed when you told me I was in a twin flame relationship. Took months before I actually considered it. Still didn’t like the idea, it was unsettling and felt like a trap. It was you to laugh at me then and my life played out accordingly. You was the first person I wanted to tell when I finally met this mystery man. I struggled for days in disbelief and couldn’t find the words to speak it out loud. Eight days later you were gone and replaced the space he once occupied in my head. It’s odd going through my days knowing I can’t call you about it. You was the person I ran to when I cried. I guess this is why I ve been learning to cry alone. You got me with my head held high while I let the tears flee pass my stubborn chin. I have to keep asking myself, ” How can I keep living the same way?” I will only ever feel you from the inside. I will only be able to hear you in the head of my memories. You took every excuse I had left to hide behind my insecuties. I can no longer put band-aids over bullet holes because of you. You left me tending the garden of the seeds we planted together. You left me face to face with myself and the universe at my feet. You knew this would make burn all the dirt swept up under rugs, you knew this would make me say, fuck it and build my tree house on the dark side of the moon anyways. Fearlessly face the sun while it sets my soul a flame and follow your scars in the night sky. Thank you for the way you loved me and the time we shared. Thank you for being my twin brother, Thank you for being my person. Most importantly thank you for helping set me free and the anchor to my self love. I m sorry you died in so much pain but I vow that your death will not be in vain and I ll make sure Landon knows of the incredible man you use to be. I look forward to meeting you again, I have a feeling I ll remember you. Maybe in the next life, I ll be your brother and you ll be my sister lol I m going to miss you Shamel!! Please be at peace…I love you xoxo
Forever your twin sister,
Sharon
Dunn
Journalistic Writing
Wow… beautifully written….so sorry for your loss???
???
Fiercely written and deeply emotional.