It can’t be said that he doesn’t try, because he does. It also can’t be said that blood hasn’t been shed more time than once, because that is also something that keeps happening. To be honest I’m not sure why he won’t just take his knife and end it all, I think he might like me but then again, he might just be lazy.
“I will kill you” it comes out soft and sweet, I have to roll my eyes are the statement
“Yes, I believe that’s the hundredth and sixth time you have told me this,” he turns sharply towards me
“Hundredth and seventh.” I snort at him
“Oh yes, my mistake” he gently lays his head back down on the pillow before drawing the sheet towards his chin again, they are spotted with red and needed to be bleached again. Tedious.
“Can I chop off another toe? Or have a piece of your thigh?” the question is asked so casual, like he’s requesting me to pass him the sugar.
“Toe? No.” I wrap an arm around his waist, “A chunk of thigh is doable though”
He picks up my arm at this, giving him the room necessary to roll over and face me. A small smile graces his lips, he’s going to kiss me and I’m going to welcome it.
“If I took your whole leg what would you do?” He’s running a hand through the hair that peppers my chest, his nails are just cresting over to the painful side as they dig into my side
“I don’t know.” I slide a finger down his nose, “Not have a leg, I suppose”
“Not the answer I wanted”
“Tough, it’s the answer you get”
He sighs dramatically, like an old Hollywood scarlet he just can’t seem believe I’m doing this to him.
“You drain me.” His eyes find mine, “Oh, how you drain me”
“What a queen you are,” I move away from him, slowly trying to make my escape. Instant reject falls on me when my feet get bitten by the harsh cold of the floor. A hand finds my forearm, the grip is tight
“I didn’t give you permission to leave”
“I thought I drained you,” he is pulling me back towards him
“You do,” he pulls harder, “doesn’t mean you get to leave the bed.” He’s going to pull the arm out of the socket at this rate.
“Honey, I have to pee”
“Hold it”
“I’ll let you take an eyeball if you let me go.” This causes him to still, he’s thinking. Finally, he flops back onto his back and lays his arm over his eyes
“Alas, I like them far too much in your head to take them,” he sighs again, “no matter how delicious they may appear”
“How sweet of you”
“I’m always sweet,” a smirk plays on his face, “semi-sweet, at least”
I don’t justify him with a response, instead I brace myself for the cold tile of the restroom and pray I can be done with this task a quick as possible. The room is an icebox, too cold for a normal person to live, yet I can almost bet that his majesty will be complaining that it’s too hot by midday.
“What are you going to make with the thigh?” I ask as I flush the toilet, turning to the sink I almost skip washing my hands. It’s like tiny needles hitting my skin when the water runs over them.
“I’m thinking of a stew,” a pause, “or maybe I’ll just take a bit of the fat there and mix it was green beans.”
“Green Beans?” I look down at the bandage that already adorns my foot, last Tuesday he had wanted something to spice up some green beans he was making. It was quite disturbing to watch him take a tiny cheese grater to my severed toe.
“Qui, beans.”
“Well taking a bit of fat sounds less painful then a chunk,” the scars that run up and down my legs stare back at me, “less likely to leave a nasty scar.” I hear a huff from the bed.
“I like the scars,” he says as I reenter the room, drying my hand on one of the ‘good towels’. The act makes him scowl which causes a chuckle to escape me
“The scars are fine,” I sit on the edge of the bed, “just wish I had a better story to go with them.”
“So you pleasing me isn’t a good enough tale?”
“No, your highness, it isn’t,” he brings his lips together, pouting like the child he is
“You’re a terrible servant,” there’s a flick to my elbow, “I should replace you”
“Probably”
“So you agree? A replacement is in order?”
“I should say so,” I lay back down beside him, “seeing how I can’t be trusted”
“That is a problem”
“A big one, if I do say so myself,” I yawn in his face
“Tired?”
“Yes, of you,” that gets me a smack in the arm
“I hate you”
“We both know that’s not true,” he flicks me again, this time it’s the end of my nose, “What’s the plan for today?”
“I could kill the neighbor’s dog”
“Oh? Can I ask why?”
“You can”
“Ok smartass, why are you killing the neighbor’s dog?” He shrugs
“For the past five nights it has no stopped barking,” he lightly pulls on a stand of my hair, “it must be dealt with.”
“You know if you killing the neighborhood dogs you’re going to get caught.” He scoffs at me
“That’s ridiculous. Besides those ‘neighbors’ should be worshiping the ground I walk on.”
“Should they?” a glare is sent my way, a dangerous flash invades his eyes
“Yes, I’m solving a problem, practically a hero at this point.”
“My hero.” I flutter my eyelashes at him, I can almost feel the imaginary sting of his palm against my cheek
“I should chop you up and turn you into a pie.”
“If you did that darling then you would have no one to put up with all your bullshit.”
“More like I wouldn’t have anyone to run my errands.”
“You wound me.”
It’s so easy to tease him, to keep it playful. At the start of all this I could have never seen this possibility, lying in bed, making jokes about the animals my paramour is planning on murdering. It’s like we’re a normal couple, this is our normal. The look he’s giving me tells me I’ve been quiet for far too long, lost in my head again.
“We’ll never be normal,” I flinch when he says it, “but we can carve out our own piece of normal.” His hand finds the back of my neck, clasping it he brings my head forward until our foreheads are touching, he rolls his against mine.
“Crave?” He laughs shakes his body as well as mine.
“Wrong word?” He’s looking at me like he wants to devour me, and based on past situations it’s not far from the truth. Still even with that look in his eyes I can’t resist him, can’t pull away when his lips are taking over mine.
His breath is still on the sour side, but it’s warm as it enters my mouth. His tongue is hot, heavy like lead, I can almost feel the weight of it settle in my stomach. It twists around him, licking every part it can reach, it feels like he’s trying to count my teeth. We pull apart only when the air in our lungs as fizzed to fumes, even then we don’t drift apart. His hand still lingers on the back of my neck, thumb lazily stroking it.
“Your breath is atrocious.”
“You always know just what to say.”
He gives me one more peck on the cheek before sliding out of bed, it’s so quick that I don’t realize anything is amiss until the bathroom door closes.
“Can you go make coffee?”
“Why didn’t you ask me that while you were still in bed?” I’m once again subjected to the icy bite of the floor, I can hear him softly laughing on the other side of the door.
“Because then you would get to experience that loveliness of me peeing.” I roll my eyes as I grab a hoodie that was casually thrown over the rolling chair that occupies a corner of our bedroom
“Lovely isn’t the word I would have used.” I’m not sure he hears me since I was already in the hallway by the time I said it, but I’m almost positive he would have guessed my reply. After being together for this long it’s not hard to imagine what’s going to come out of each other’s mouth. It can be quite helpful in some situations.
I can hear my cell phone going off in the kitchen, the ringer is different again, he’s been messing with it. It practically echoing off the walls by the time I get there, a groan leaves me when I see who it’s from.
“New message from Jason.” I pinch the bridge of my nose,” Jason, just yell it if you want to say something!” My phone goes off again, ignoring that. I turn toward the coffee machine and start the laborious task. I can hear him walking into the space a few minutes later just when filling the pot with water.
“This is taking forever.” I turn my head to look at him, pout present on my lips.
“Aw, poor thing.” He leans against the door frame, “Do your arms hurt from lifting all those heavy coffee grounds?”
“So badly.” There’s a bit of a quiver in my answer.
“Well, we can’t have that.”
“You say that, yet you make me do every god damn morning.”
“That’s because it’s so much for me to watch you suffer.”
I know I’m glaring hard enough to take him down, I can feel in my bones that I am. Yet he stands there, against that door with a stupid grin on his face.
“You’re a terrible person.” I snap my head around, if I have to look at that grin anymore I will be forced to throw something sharp at it.
“I’m terrible for many reason, but this isn’t one of them.”
“I hate you so much.” He scuffs
“You wish you did.”
“You wish I didn’t.”
I don’t even realize how close he’s gotten to me until I feel his arms around my waist, his breath is hot against my neck, the scent of peppermint surrounds me.
“Made a mistake.” I switch on the machine, it kind of shakes to life, time for a new one.
“Mistake?”
“Si, senor.”
“What mistake?”
“Well you brushed your teeth before your coffee, you know it’s going to taste like ass now.” I can feel his laughter in my lungs, it shakes me to the bones.
“I’ll just have to deal with it.”
“Um yeah, I mean I’m not going to do anything to help you in this situation.” I can see his eyebrow twitch out of the corner of my eye.
“Tell me why I love you again?”
“Couldn’t tell you if you gave me the rest of our lives.” I push my rump back, he moves just enough for me to escape his arms and take a seat at the kitchen table. I’m not there for ten seconds before he is across from me, nose scrunched up like he smells something rotten.
“What’s with the face?”
He doesn’t answer me, instead he’s up and moving towards the fridge. The door taps the counter, all I can see is his ass sticking out has he searches for the cause of his torment.
“There you are.” He turns with a Tupperware container in his hand. Grinning like a fool who’s caught a game winning ball he makes an attempted to throw it at me.
“If you ever want to have sex again, I suggest you rethink everything you’re doing with your life at this very moment.”
His eyes go wide as he regards what I’ve just said. I can read him like a book, he doesn’t believe me, dumbass.
“Oh, fine!” He storms over to the table and slams the container down; a pout presents the entire trip. I take a closer look at the specimen he has brought froth, no clue what it could be. All I can do is point at it.
“Explain.”
“Stevens cat.”
“I told you not to kill that one.”
“It kept pissing on our recycling bins, I had no choice.”
“You know he’s been looking for that damn thing for weeks.”
“Yeah well,” he holds up the container and shakes it at me, “here it is.”
I hold out my hands, curling my fingers a few times I wait for him to place the container into them. When he does, I bring it to my eye level to peer in side. It looks like any other piece of meat, no fur lingers on any part, he knows how to skin them. I can tell that the fat has been removed and some of the parts are missing, this has clearly been on the menu.
“What did you make with this?” I’m still staring into it; I can almost make him out through the plastic.
“Remember that Chili last week?”
“The one we had when Steven was over?” I wouldn’t say I dropped the container, more like I forgot how to use to my fingers for a millisecond and the container is an unfortunate casualty of this weird happening.
“Do you think he would accept it back like this?” He asks as he takes back the little tub,” I mean this is one of our nicer pieces of Tupperware.”
“You’re the worst.”
“That’s beside the point”
“It’s the whole point.” He waves his hand in a dismissive fashion, little shit that he is. He stands after a moment and starts move to the trash can, stopping he starts to figure out his options.
“Whole thing.” He’s not looking at me when he talks.
“It’s a waste.”
“What it is a biohazardous rubbish.” I cross my arms over my chest. “Whole thing.” I can hear him groan as he dutifully drops the entire mess into the can, he’s a good boy when he does what he’s told.
“I could have used that container again.” He’s whining as he comes back to the table, taking to seat closer to mine this time.
“No.”
“You’re so unfair.”
“I’m only this unfair because it shows how much I love you.” I reach over and try to pinch his cheek, I get my hand swatted away.
“Well if that’s the case then stop loving me so much.”
“Rather not, just saying.” At that moment I can hear the last of the water working its way through the grounds, my mouth begins to salivate at the thought of that hot nectar flowing down my throat.
“Be a dear and get the creamer out for me.” I ask as leave the table to fetch mugs, I can smell it now, rich and dark. If I didn’t think, I would look crazy I would fall to my knees and weep for joy. Though I do share a bed with someone who eats cats, maybe my crazy would be a bit more acceptable.
“One day I’m not going be here for you to boss around like this.”
“Good heavens,” I press the back of my hand against my forehead as I fall against the counter, “whatever shall I do when that day comes? Perhaps find a younger model who won’t give me so much lip.”
“You’re not as funny as you think you are.”
“No, I’m pretty sure I am.”
The coffee is hot in our hands, such a contrast to the chill that has been lingering around all morning. The sun is just starting to make an appearance; rays fall across the tile floor. It’s truly quiet for the first time, coffee burns all the way down, hitting our stomachs like balls of fire.
“I’m not going to take a piece of thigh.”
“I’m slightly offended.” I can see his lips quirk up at the corners.
“I like them the way they are.”
“They’d be the same.”
“Might be.” He looks over at me with a small smile on his lips. “Still, I want to keep them as they are, for now.”
“I’m not going to argue.”
“Be stupid if you did.”
“Anyone ever tell you what a charmer you are?”
We are quiet again for a bit after that, the morning fades around us, yet we don’t move from the little bubble we have created. Finally, a loud barking breaks the silence, he looks over at me.
“You know I feel like tacos tonight,” He smirks my way,”What do you say?”
Short Stories
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This was kinda morbid, but also really quirky. It reminds me of Santa Clarita Diet. Nice work!