"Promises"
You made me a promise.
You said you’d grow old with me,
But that promise.. You broke it.
You left me.
I would say I do understand, but I can’t.
I don’t understand.
All your promises, all your plans…
Gone…
Just like you….
All of your beautiful lies,
Now just a memory.
-Justin Thorne
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Wow, this was incredibly heart-wrenching and emotional! The way that the narrator describes his current situation – his partner left him in spite of their vows and their upcoming plans and soon, she will be nothing more than a memory – is very straightforward and blunt, but the language is also very stimulating. As I was reading, it felt like I was watching a montage of the down-spiral of a couple: at first, they looked lovingly at each other at first and promised each other forever underneath a white canopy, but then their happiness rapidly fractured as the women walked out the front door, ceasing her vow altogether, and the man crumbled to the floor in confusion and regret. The very fact that I was able to visualize all of this without any of the details being physically written demonstrates how sensational truly your words are. Lines such as “But the promise.. You broke it. / You left me.” and “All your promises, all your plans… / Gone…” and “Now just a memory” are absolutely riveting, not too specific but just specific enough to induce people to associate the lines with certain scenarios so they will see and feel what the narrator is going through. Well done! Very, very well done, sir!