When does the good part of life happen? What if you’re living it right now without realizing it? I lay on my bed looking up at the ceiling asking myself these senseless questions. I close my eyes and now all I hear is my dog barking as kids pass by my front yard. After a while, the barks begin to fade, my body begins to sink, the more I move the faster I go down. I’m sweating and hyperventilating, everything from my inside begins to tighten up, my legs are kicking but it’s too late I’m in too deep. Now I’m falling into nothing. I’m scared. Waiting to land and break every bone of my body. Before I could take a breath I’m underwater, my legs begin to kick and my arms begin to swing in circles. Nothing, I’m not going any higher or lower part of the water, I’m panicked, scared, and frustrated all at once. I’m holding on to my breath as much as possible but I’m not strong enough, I’ve never been. I want to make it out, I want to breathe like everyone else, why is it so hard to breathe? To be alive? The world was not made for you to survive, its to challenge you and I’m losing the battle right now. I close my eyes and accept it all, I’m not making it out of this, I stop moving and I let go. I feel my body going down like a feather. This is what I wanted, I’ve been wanting to let go for a while now. I’m free, but why am I still not happy? I was sure this was going to cure it. I feel my body touch ground and I can feel the sand between my fingers, its warm down here. The sand begins to swallow my body, I guess this is it, this is where everything stops, my heart, the blood in my veins, and my train of thought, everything is going to go blank. My body disappears from the sand, but it’s not over, I’m falling again I don’t know where too. I can’t tell if my eyes are closed or if it’s all pitch black here. My heart begins to race, I’m sweating all over again and my emotions are coming at me all at once. I want it all to stop, I close my eyes tight as possible hoping I can make it stop. Within seconds everything goes silent and my heart goes to normal speed. I’m breathing. I can’t move I’m too weak to lift my eyelids, but I can hear clearly………
“your daughter is going to be fine, you guys took action just in time.”
“I just can’t believe it…. she’s fine, she’s happy, why would she do this?!”
“Do you know what she used? We need to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”
“I’m not sure I just walked in her room and she was laying on her bed and there was blood everywhere…I called 911 right away.”
“The worst part is over, she’s here and she’s well, now we need to make sure she’s healthy physically and mentally.”
I’m sorry mama.
Creativity
1 Likes
912 Views
Share: