I gave birth to my destiny on September 19, 2009 , I didn’t know it at the time, but I would lose her to the first boy I ever loved just to realize that she is my first true love. I couldn’t recognize her, wasn’t use to seeing myself so bright. I was a broken 22 year old girl but i noticed She had my hands and the smile I was to afraid to share. I didn’t know i was a hostage until I saw her little feet dance. Her giggle reminded me to laugh and she showed me all the colors in the flowers. How could somebody so bright come from me? Today, 9 years Later, every chance I get it tell her, stay positive, be brave, and be the best janiyah you can be. But it is she who gave me the courage to face my demons. No matter how far away she is, it was her illumination that taught me that light comes from darkness and darkness from light. It was the honesty in her big Brown eyes that made me become friends with my ego. It was her tiny arms that led me to hug myself. It’s her positivity that keeps me smiling with nothing held back. Whether she comes back home to me or not, it is my love for her that will push me to find every creative way possible to remind her, that we were made to be broken and doubt will try to convince you otherwise. Forgive yourself now, because fear will blind you but vulnerability sets the stage for unconditional love. She is the culprit of my joy and the reason why I can stand here tall and say ” I love You”
Journalistic Writing
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This is a melancholy piece. It is so very true that children push us to better than we think we can be, and they bring out parts of us we didn’t know we had, parts like boldness, courage, sometimes fear. For our kids we have joy and laughter in otherwise dark times. They push us to sacrifice ourselves for them, unconditional love, as you say. Even if we lose everything else, we have them. I get the feeling something has happened to impede this joy, though you aren’t explicit with that detail with us. That’s okay. I hope it gets better for you and that you and Janiyah can have years and years more joy together.
I just started being bold enough to post my journal entries, your my first comment! Thank you so much for your time!