The emptiness inside of me grows bigger day by day. The hole in my chest is searing with pain. My soul is bleeding, my heart dying. But what can I do? Nothing. You are nothing but a figment of my dreams, a thought that could never be real. I think of you, and all I dream of is your pale blue eyes. I think of you, and all I dream of is your wicked and beautiful smile. I think of you, and all I can do is dream. Dream of what you would say to me. Dream what you would make me feel. Dream that you would love me, but that’s all I can do. The hole in my chest is still searing with pain. My soul is still bleeding, my heart dying. But what can I do? Nothing. Nothing because you are nothing but a figment of my dreams, a thought that could never be real.
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You have a strong sense of what you specifically want to be emphasized, which can be seen in your repetition of the word “dream” as well as starting and ending the paragraph with the same set of phrases. There is also a good mix of long and short sentences, it helps the reader stay focused and also creates a rhythm. It all makes me wonder about the structure of the paragraph. Sometimes long spaces are placed between words to create an uneasiness and emphasize the themes of the prose. ellipsis can also do this as well as dashes.
Thank you for your suggestion. 🙂 I will be sure to use it.