“Do you call yourself a writer? And if you don’t why not?” my college professor, Dr.Little, asked this question as he opened up our 8 am capstone writing class.
It was towards the very end of my spring semester in college. It was around the time when spring was about to begin. The school, drenched in all of the spring showers, created a gloomy look for the campus. The clouds were dark gray outside, and the rain was slowly trickling down the windowsill I was watching. I had been up the night before, trying my very best to make up for the writing projects that were due towards the very end of the semester. He assigned us reading, but I didn’t do it, so I was trying my very best not to get noticed or fall asleep in class.
” I think it’s because there’s this persona attached to who a writer is,” my one classmate said.
“Could you elaborate more on that Lauren?” Dr.Little asked. He fiddled with his legs as he tried to find a comfortable cross crossed pattern.
“Well from an outsiders perspective, a writer is this person who kind of acts snobbish. Almost as if they are better than other people,” she remarked.
“Interesting. So you are saying that there’s a stigma attached to this profession. Alright. Anyone else?”
There was dead silence for a while. No one answered our professor’s question. And there could have been many reasons why our group was so not lively that morning. The first possible reason was that an 8 am class was incredibly early for any college student. We probably weren’t awake enough to form complete sentences, let alone thoughts.
Another possible point was that we, as a class, were all thinking the same thought. And maybe we just didn’t want to say it out loud because we knew it was true and we knew that it might hurt Dr.little.
“Don’t make me call on you to participate,” he said.
Finally, a classmate by the name of Sarah answered.
” Well, I don’t identify myself as a writer. Because when I do, the people I tell give me this sad look as if I told them my cat died. They pity me because they think I don’t have a career path.”
This answer was it: Sarah just said what we were all thinking. While I fidgeted in my chair, I counted how many times I got the look of pity when I confessed what I did for a living.
“But that’s simply not true. There are so many avenues you can take with this profession. Wow. Anyone else?”
For a moment, I thought about responding; I even stared at my professor for a good while. I was hoping that he would see that I wanted to speak up.
“Emily? Did you want to add?”
” Well, I’m not sure if everyone feels like this, but I feel like I can’t label myself as a writer because I feel like I’m not well mastered the craft yet. Like I haven’t had success with it. I have no credentials or praise stating that I’m good at this.” I replied.
Once I finished, I looked around at my classmates. Although I was sitting in my chair when I spoke, they were all staring at me. Perhaps I revealed a thought that everyone else was thinking too.
“So you think you need praise and awards to say that you’ve made it? That you’re good?”
“…Yes.” I said. To me, this felt like a trick question.
Dr.Little rose up from his chair and started pacing. “Well I hate to break it to you guys, but that doubt you feel isn’t going to go away. It’s always going to be there no matter how successful you might be in this profession. You are going to have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.”
He stopped his pacing for a moment.
” So let me ask you this: what’s the difference between a writer and a person who happens to write then?”
The class grew silent again. We all took a moment to look at each other. It was almost as if we were all implying “Should I do it? No. You do it!” to each other. With a raise of a hand, my classmate Tara spoke.
“A person who happens to write is someone who does marketing. They’re always typing up proposals for a client, but they would never call themselves writers; then a person who writes for a living is probably an editor. At least, that’s how I see it.”
Sara chimed in and added to Tara’s comment. “Dr.Little, what we are trying to say is that a person who happens to write is a person that has a profession in something that’s not writing, but they occasionally write for this position; then a person who writes for a living is probably someone who writes and gets paid for their writing. A news reporter would be a good example of that.”
His face dropped as he received this answer. Once again, he switched his leg crisscross pattern.
“But when you look at it, those two people aren’t that all different. They’re still doing some form of writing.”
He was silent for a moment. Dr.Little was calculating his words carefully.
“Guys. The whole point of this exercise was for you to see something. I wanted you to see that you’re going to be a writer no matter what. Regardless of whatever career path you choose after college, this is who you are. Don’t ever be ashamed of that. You will find a way to incorporate your skill into anything you do.”
This lecture wasn’t the kind of speech that we were used to in class. Instead, Dr.Little was trying his best to give a nugget of wisdom.
And even though this lesson happened a year ago, I still turn to this moment to give me hope. In the end, Dr.Little was right.
After college, I didn’t automatically land a writing job. Instead, I found myself working for a health insurance company that works with Medicaid plans. Right now I research claims for a living, but I’m still a writer first and foremost. I’m still using my writing abilities. Just recently I outlined and composed a training manual for claims research. I’m still writing. So do I consider myself a writer? Well, thanks to Dr. Little, I’m not afraid to say yes.
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A very good point well described ,I like it the way its brought home!