Take me to the inner depths
Your heart secrets kept
Even things your heart quivers
Let me enter the backroom locked
Your heart, beautiful yet scared
Thoughts that no one has ever shared
Things no one else ever sought
Oh please the inner depths of your heart
I know hurt before
but someplace, someone trust again
Feelings inward, you cannot ignore
Your heart the lights dim
Afraid that past hurts might show
I need your all, open for me
All the lights bright for me to see
Seeking the inner depths of your heart
Real love is all or nothing
I know you’ve never let no one this far
Shy and awkward like always before
Mistakes and feelings, no one touching
Give me the tour, open the inner door
I’ll be careful for any hurt or past scar
I’ll treat this inner part as my own
I wish to forever stay in the inner depths of your heart!
Photo Credit – Pixabay.com ..by Petrucy
Poetry
Comments are closed.
1 Likes
1283 Views
Share:
I imagine a young girl falling in love for the first time and her guy is asking her to put down the walls. I loved how you described how that feeling is like. The girl in this poem is scared as the dude she cares so deeply for invades her world. She wants him at first to leave but he continues breaking her down. This point is so easily shown in this poem and I am impressed with your ability to portray it. With some lines though, I felt like a word was missing. For example:
“Oh please the inner depths your heart”
I don’t know if it is just me, you could be doing it for creative purposes but I feel it is supposed to say:
“Oh please let me into the inner
depths of your heart”
Because this is a little bit longer I can understand that it might not flow as easy, but when I read it aloud I automatically felt like something was missing. So when you go to read again you can check for stuff like that. But other than that, it is pretty solid.
Thank you for your help and comment.