Night Terror II, Alone in the House with OCD.
OCD ME: Did I lock the door?
ME: I’m sure I did.
OCD ME: What if I didn’t?
Someone could walk right in, while I was sleeping.
Did I lock the door?
ME: I normally do.
OCD ME: What was that noise?
It sounds like someone is in the Kitchen!
I must not have locked the door.
I’ll wait and listen very closely.
Did I lock the door?
ME: I can’t hear anything.
Maybe I imagined it.
I’ll wait and listen some more.
OCD ME: It’s the only way out, so If someone is there…
Did I lock the door?
I just nodded off!
What if I didn’t lock the door?
ME: Just get up and check.
OCD ME: No, If I check then I will have OCD.
Did I just see a shadow pass in the hall?
I’ll watch very closely.
ME: Surly I locked the door.
OCD ME: What is that dark thing in the corner?
It looks like a man.
I’ll remain very still and see if I can figure it out.
ME: If it was a man, why would he be standing so still.
OCD ME: If it is a man, I shouldn’t move.
I’ll stare at him to see if he moves.
ME: He hasn’t moved.
It’s my robe!
Stupid, I should have known.
OCD ME: But did I lock the door?
ME: Just get up and go check.
ODE ME: Ok, I’ll check.
I’ll walk very silently down the hall.
I KNEW IT! It’s not locked!
ME: Then lock the door.
OCD ME: I’ll carefully check each room on the way back to bed
ME: There’s no one here.
At last I can relax.
Almost asleep…
OCD ME: Did I lock the window?
Poetry
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I really enjoyed your personification of OCD here. It always has something to say and a fear to back it up with made up evidence. It’s a good portrayal of anxiety, but especially at the level that OCD operates on. With how clear the OCD’s voice is, it’s interesting to be thought as both a physical conversation between two people, but also the thought process someone with OCD can go through. It’s a lot more specific than what we are taught in school and I loved that a lot.
Thank you for your comment. I think everyone has a little OCD in them at different levels. This is a conversation I’ve had with myself from childhood, in one form or another.