Chapter 1
Date 20-3-2xxxx9
Experiment 7094 has been successful. Subject has been injected with the animal cell serum. The subject is going through unnatural changes as they are slowly growing ears and a tail.
3 hours earilier
Silvia’s pov
“Hmmmm hey mom ?” I say as I play with my unnaturally rose colored hair.
“Yes hun ?” mom said
“Can we please stop at the hospital to see grammy ?”
“Maybe we need to stop and get your sister from school remember though you might be 17 you still need to remember that there is such a thing as school.”mom said sarcastically.
I watch as the scenery changes from country roads to a town full of houses with big ,gleaming christmas light. I was spacing out again talking to my voices inside my head when BANG the car door slams closed and I wake up to reality and i see my little sister jennifer but i tend to call her jennie.
“Hey jenny how was your day?” I ask
“Boring as always but there was this one kid who tried to start a fight with me but i scared them so much that they ran into the wall and broke their nose.”she started laughing her butt off when we turned into the hospital and suddenly stops laughing”why are we here mom”she asks.
“Silvia wanted to see Grammy .”she sighed knowing how jennie doesn’t know what happened to her grandmother.
“Ugh why can’t you guys tell me what happened to grammy she is also my grandma to”she complained.
I sighed wanting to tell her how grammy was in a fatal accident and had broken her spine. We walk into the hospital where we were greeted by this young looking receptionist. We had walked up to her and suddenly the alarm started going off and jennie had started crying saying how she was only 6 .
“Nurse what’s going on?” I asked worryingly, but she was rushing to the room that had our grandmother in it and i ran in the room while people were telling me not to look in the room but it had been too late as I had now seen my grandmother pale as loose leaf paper standing there with her heart in her hand . “g…grammy ….”I had fallen to my knees in shock . Grammy had suddenly collapsed and was at the time still breathing but the last few seconds she had she told me”don’t worry child i’m with you always in your heart–” she then had taken her last breath.
“No no no no no!!!”I said while trying to put her heart back in inorder for her to be alive again but it was too late as I now could see her outside of her body. I quickly ran to jennie and mom and rushed them out . I started to realize that I was covered in blood and the police showed up and they wanted to take me and they said that I was insane.
“No i didnt do i swear” I yelled and pleaded.
They held me down on the ground and suddenly I feel a pin in my arm and look to find that a doctor had put a tranquil shot in my arm. I passed out.
I woke up multiple times throughout the ride. I could faintly hear the driver talking with someone and they had said that I was on the way to an insane asylum. Then i had woken up for good and I had a heart rate monitor . multiple people started surrounding me and i tried to move but i was tied down on the table.
“What’s going on?” I asked
“Experiment 7094 has been successful. Subject has been injected with the animal cell serum. “ one of the people said. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my head and I started screaming and tears started to fall to the table.
“Please stop”i whine.
I try to get away but suddenly they clip a collar on me that had a battery in it . They untied me and brought me to a big room full of demons, angels, foxes ,and wolves. I started to wonder what i was but i learned when a fox girl said “yay new fox i won’t be alone any more.”
“I…im a f..fox now?”I said shyly.
“Yup im lilliana nice to meet you “the strange girl said.
“Hi im silvia”I had put my hand out to shake hers but instead i got a big hug.
She smiled. I started getting nervous and anxious when everyone had started surrounding me . suddenly i feel something soft and fluffy touch my leg and i had looked down to see that i had a tail.
Fantasy
Comments are closed.
Nice,well written , though the opening requires to be edited to make it simpler ,understandable, with clarity.
It’s a creative story with potential. I’d be careful with grammar and punctuation though which can turn people off from reading a story. I recommend punctuation /grammar checks. (grammerly?)
“Incite” should be “Insight” (incite would be as in inciting a riot)
as an example of punctuation I’m referring to:
this sentence is run-on and could have greater impact with punctuation:
I was spacing out again talking to my voices inside my head when BANG the car door slams closed and I wake up to reality and i see my little sister jennifer but i tend to call her jennie.
I’d suggest:
I was spacing out again, talking to the voices inside my head, when Bang! The car door slams and I wake up. I see my little sister, Jennie.
I have left out unnecessary words in the rewrite. Shorter (with less explaining) usually has greater impact.
I hope this helps. Keep writing!
Thanks for the great constructive feedback, WVPoetrygirl!