Once upon a time, there was a king, named Harash vardhan. He was a very kind and generous king, everyone in his kingdom was happy and satisfied. The king had a 6- year old- son name Dhruv. Except the Prince Dhruv, everyone was happy. The king and queen were sad that their only son was not happy. They keep everyone happy but their own son was not happy. They tried everything in their might to cheer him up. They bought all kinds of toys, clothes, sweets for him but he was not happy. And nobody knew the reason of his unhappiness. All kinds of people, clowns, jokers and fools were called in to make the little prince laugh and be happy. But the Prince was not happy, one- day queen called him in his chamber and asked him, why is he unhappy, when he has everything what other kids could dream only about. She told the prince that they can bring anything he wants. But little prince refused for everything. And then he said: “I’m not unhappy because I I don’t have something and which no one can get for me” The queen looked puzzled. What is on earth that we cannot provide you, my son?” just name it and it will be presented right in front of you. The Prince paused and said, “I don’t have a brain” The queen was shocked to hear that. She could not figure it out what he meant. “what do you mean by that”? she held his hand softly. And the prince replied “ In my class when the teacher asks a question, I ‘m the last one to answer before I could come up with the answer, the other kids already have it, and than I feel like I’m a dumb?” the queen said, “who said that to my son, I will have him beheaded before the dusk?” The prince said “no body but he is always the last one to answer the question. And that makes him feel like is dumb and has no brain.” The queen was shocked to hear that, she tried convincing the prince that he was not dumb but no one could convince the prince. All the wise and intelligent people of the country were summoned to convince the prince that he had brains. He was asked simple mathematical problems and he answered them correctly, but he was not convinced that has brain or he was intelligent. After a while everybody gave up and accepted prince’s situation. The king and queen stayed unhappy about their son’s belief. Once during king’s country excursion, the prince and the queen, with some soldiers for safety, were in the palace and the king of another state attacked the palace. The queen and other people inexperienced in war, got horrified. All they could do was to surrender themselves to the King and become his slaves for their entire lives. The prince was only 6 years old to fight with the King. On seeing his mother and people helpless, the six years old, decided to meet the enemy king and talk to him. He was dissuaded by the queen and the palace people but the prince was dissuadable. He rode on his horse and strode toward the tents where the enemy king had put up with his army. They were surprised to see a six -year -old prince was standing right in front of the huge army of the enemy king. The king smiled and welcomed him in his chamber. The prince sat next to the king’s throne and said “dear sir, with all due respect, I want to inform you that, neither the queen, nor my people will surrender or are scared by this your huge arm of yours, my father the king is not in the state but I’m ready to fight with you. But just remember, your reputation as a brave warrior will be tarnished by fighting against a child. You may win my palace, the queen and handful of soldiers but you will be mocked forever for fighting against a kid and attacking handful soldiers. You will gain nothing but just ridicule and contempt, the decision is yours because we will not give up without a fight.” The King smiled and was impressed by the daring words of the six -year- old prince. He not only left the state but awarded the prince with a title “the most wise and intelligent prince.” And this made the prince happy.” moral of the story “ everyone is uniquely intelligent and cannot be compared to anyone.”
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nice story !!
Thank so much! comments are so encouraging but i see that on this website people hardly give any feedback. Good or bad at least people should say something! 🙂
This is a really cute story, classic fairytale. And many classic fairytales are like this format: with a lot of telling. However, I’d challenge you to try and do more showing and less telling (I know that’s so cliche, but it’s cliche for a reason!).
For example, instead of saying:
“All kinds of people, clowns, jokers and fools were called in to make the little prince laugh and be happy.”
Consider writing something like this:
“One by one, every subject in the land was called in to make the little prince laugh. A clown with bright orange hair and a big red nose performed tricks and made balloon animals. He even tried to ticket the prince’s feet to force some laughter, but to no avail. The King’s jester came in and told stories of far away lands, filled with dragons and adventure, but the prince did not crack a smile. As a last resort, they brought in the town drunk from the local tavern, but even his incoherent ramblings didn’t get a rise out of the little prince.”
Do you see how expanding upon that one sentence not only gives you better characterization of the prince and the people in the land, but is more engaging and makes you want to keep reading?
It’ll take a lot of work, but consider going through your story and expanding on everything.
Thank you so much, that’s interesting. it definitely makes the reading more gripping. I just wanted to keep it one page story, but I will for sure work on it. Thanks for the suggestions!