all my friends are getting drunk without me
and i’m not okay but at least i’m far away
staring out the passenger window
i don’t know what to say but at least i’m far away
i don’t feel okay
and i don’t know what to say
and i can’t lose you but
i’m so far away
Poetry
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Wow, this poem is absolutely stunning. There’s so much said in just two stanzas, yet there’s so much still not written; but it does not need to be. The emotion – the raw internal conflict – is all right there in a minimum of eight lines. For example, it is crystal clear that this character feels regret as well as abandonment because her friends are out and having the time of their lives without her: “…i’m not okay but at least i’m far away.” However, it is not the fact that her friends left her behind that she’s in dismay, but rather the fact that they are able to let loose while she cannot. While they have fun, she has to suffer with all of these bottled feelings; at least no one is there to witness her weakness. She does not want to have to explain to anyone why she’s hurt: “i don’t know what to say but at least i’m far away.”
Nevertheless, at the same time, although she finds some relief that no one’s present to see her in this feeble state, she is anxious because that temporary separation from that special someone – “you” – might very well convert into a permanent division: “…i can’t lose you but / i’m so far away.” In other words, she is afraid because, in not being okay and not being able to participate in life, this could be the downfall of her relationship with “you,” and she cannot do anything to stop it because there’s already been so much distance. Can the damage be reversed?
This poem, while relatively simplistic, overall, is very sensational and relatable and personal. I adore it, through and through. Extremely well done!