Once in a marvelous rainforest filled with all sorts of creatures, there lived a monkey. This monkey was well liked by all of the creatures of the rainforest for his generosity and kindness, however this monkey had one flaw and that was that he was lazy and lacked motivation. In order to avoid as much work as one could, this monkey decided to live in the grandest mango tree throughout the entire rainforest. The monkey disliked having to move so he chose to move in on and between a few branches sprouting out from the tallest, skyscraper of a tree in the entire rainforest. One day the monkey was waking up from a wonderful nap when he saw a luscious, succulent looking mango. He watched all of his friends who lived in the tree with him grab their morning mangoes, which all looked just a delicious as the one in front of him. His mouth watered at the sight of it and he couldn’t wait to get his hands on one of these mangoes. He looked around himself and found that all of the mangoes where well out of reach and that if he wanted them he would either half to climb up or down a few branches to reach it. The monkey looked around for something that could help him reach a mango. Laying next to him he saw a stick and an idea began to form in his mind. He grabbed the stick and jutted it out towards a large juicy mango. He prodded at the mango and gripped it with the forked end of the stick. As he tried to pull the mango towards him, the stem snapped and the monkey watched in disappointment as the monkey fell into the hands of an eager sloth, who was just waiting for the mango to drop towards him. “Thaaaannnnksssss Mmmmmmoooonnnnnnnky” the sloth said in a slow, drawn out, monotone voice.
“Uuuuhhhhhh….. Your welcome.” replied the monkey awkwardly. The monkey turned away from the sloth and begun thinking again.
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This is off to a really solid start; I also have a fondness for the themes you’ve chosen. I could be partial because I lived in the DR where the hunt for mangoes was a daily adventure during the season and then while in Asia I had many exceptional monkey encounters, so for me the piece is very engaging.
Here are some notes:
1. I tend to use what I’ve learned is the Oxford spelling of [rainforest] == this website is even underlining it as misspelled == but I would still write it as one word because it looks cleaner and then as one word creates this identity as a lush eco-system instead of two separate words. Naturally, it is entirely up to you considering both are correct.
2. To be more exact:
This monkey was lazy and didn’t want anything [that had] to do with work.
3. I like the idea of using skyscraper as an adjective in this case and perhaps it’s a little quirky and could be misleading, but I think it’s an interesting way to describe his home.
=== This monkey decided [to] live among five branches in the [skyscraper tree, the tallest of all spanning the entire rainforest]
4. For more active language:
Unfortunately, the mango [sprouted from the apex of the tree] and the monkey was to lazy to climb up and get it.
Well done, I look forward to reading more!
Thanks for the feedback! I’m glad that you liked my the beginning of my story and I love that you gave me feedback. I hope that you will come back to read more!
Just like a close relative. They took lot of our saving. Now struggling with health issues. We wish them good health. They are not lazy. Working too hard to collect more wealth. Health is biggest wealth.