I find little joy in this world every day seems to get a little dimmer and terribly darker. No faith to be found in gods or man. My mind wakes up from a dark dream of unavoidable nothing surrounded by loss of person an overwhelming unfathomable deficiency in strength. I pray for death while striving for life torn fundamentally by something that could never begin to be understood. Crimson soaked fingertips clinging desperately to the last threads of a decomposing society, decaying in it’s own putrid excrement. My souls begins falling as if detached from flesh. My mind wanders convinced hell is not ablaze in a fiery inferno of debauchery filled sin, but more of an indifference to a mediocre life. Even though my body parts trudge on with meaningless existence filling the deafening void in my heart with Withered cracks scarring my soul with hate for humanity. springing up like a puss filled Rash spreading slowly but surely till nothing remains except infected skin that dominates the landscape. A wall paste of morality spackaling over the blemishes left by careless carpenter who could not be bothered to ensure the quality of his lifes work. All I can do now is pray to a silent god for rest.- Bryce Martin
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Super good but super dark.
Are you ok? You are a beautiful human being, obviously, because you have so much talent. Just wanted you to know that.
On the other hand, this is deep. You have very good description. I like the “Crimson soaked fingernails.” I guess because I love the word “crimson,” it is such a creative way of saying red. There are a few errors having to do with capitalization, but I am sure that can be fixed with just couple more revisions. But other than that, this is pretty well written. It has its own distinct paragraph structure that kinda goes between a flash story and a poem which is interesting because I don’t get to read much of those.
Thanks for sharing I enjoyed reading your poem. It speaks to me the way only the truest forms of despair can, and resonates deep within our secret hearts.
I do think a little revision and punctuation fixes may give it some extra flow and rhythm.