The pounding of the crystal-clear drops and white frosty flakes stuck themselves on the window as I laid there and stared. I listened to the whistling moan of the wind as it hit against the window. And watched the pine tree run its needles against the side of the smooth, tan-colored building. The sky was a depressing, gloomy shadow of tie-dyed gray and blue with just a hint of purple. I rubbed my eyes and when I reopened them, I saw little kids across the way as they jumped from puddle to puddle in their dull black boots and bright red coats, smiling while they pelted each other with snowballs. They wore smiles on their faces, exhibiting happiness something I never genuinely felt. I slowly took a breath, closed my eyes for a second and then reopened them.
I laid there quietly, my mind entirely wiped of its thoughts like a blank piece of paper. My brown, greasy hair laid against my back while my eyes felt as dry as the desert, my breath as short as a snap and my hands as sweaty as a whale. As I continued to lay there, my mind was still empty of thoughts. The room felt as if I was lying in a volcano with the heat up to its highest setting and me being too lazy to get up. With my feet intertwined, my body was underneath a dark blue fleece blanket and head against the feather pillow. My body feeling as scrawny and revolting as a shovel full of coal with a cracked handle, I continued to lay there.
I glanced around the room at a gentle pace without moving my body noticing that the ceiling was bare and the walls painted cream with a tint of green. There was a giant framed signed poster of the Boston Red Sox that hung on the wall, along with a television with its wires mounted right next to the window. Outlining the room against the ceiling, there was a strand of clear colored lights. One section seemed to have a short and as the lights twinkled, I watched them for a bit. Against the wall rested a large pile of clothes and shoes, some of which I didn’t recognize. From the pile, I saw pair of black sneakers, a pair of cargo shirts, a white tee-shirt, a brown belt, and a black jacket. They kind of reminded me of something Archie would wear. I closed my eyes for a second and yawned. Before opening my eyes, I shifted my body. I slowly moved my arm, running my fingers through my hair and then stretched over to the night stand to grab my phone. I tried to use my thumb to unlock it, and it didn’t work, so I clicked the side button. Once the screen turned on, I saw a picture of Archie and Veronica and time had stopped.
A wandering tear streamed down my face, I could feel my stomach descent through the floorboards. My mind began to run a thousand and one different scenarios, and then it shutdown. My heart began to beat faster than a horse racing the Kentucky Derby, my palms started to get extra sweaty and my worst fears had become a reality. I gently rolled over, and in that moment, what I thought, was correct. As I moved my body to clean the cold glass-like tear that ran down my face, he rolled over too. Archie’s eyes gently opened as he moved his hand to flip his hair. A tender smile formed on his face until he realized that tears were the only thing forming on mine. He moved his arm towards me, pulled me in closer, and wiped the tears that were streaming down my face and said, “I know that in this moment, what this looks like isn’t moral, but for the next minute before we have to face it, I just want to lay here with you by my side.”
I thought to myself how I should’ve resisted the need to feel his warmth against my body, but I just couldn’t. I moved in closer, intertwining his feet with mine, as he kissed my forehead, and I gently closed my eyes once more. That one minute felt like an eternity, but I know that moment of wrongful happiness had to end. I didn’t say a word nor did he as he watched me slowly get up from the bed and began to put my clothes on. With my back against him, I started with my jeans, and then my top, but failed to tie my sneakers so I just tucked in the laces and put on my jacket. I felt as if I was in an alternate universe.
I walked to the front door and opened it slowly as it creaked. I walked down the block, trying to put thoughts together, but nothing still seemed to click. I continued walking down the street, and then arrived at her house. I knocked on the door, and luckily, she was the one to open it. My body felt fragile. I felt my bones giving out and my mind was still empty. I gradually made my way into the house and collapsed into her arms with tears in my eyes. She slowly walked me over to the couch. Luckily, no one was home. She didn’t ask questions, she just held me as I cried for an hour. I felt the inside of my body disintegrating and all of those scenarios seemed to re-enter my mind. Even though she’s my best friend, I didn’t know how she was going to look at me if I told her I just slept with her boyfriend. I knew my reasoning for it wasn’t good, neither was his, but that still didn’t seem to stop us.
Once I stopped crying, it got silent. She didn’t say anything and neither did I. She got up from the couch, I kicked my shoes off and I grabbed a blanket off the pile sitting on the floor. She walked into the kitchen, walking back with a plate of chicken nuggets, container of cheese balls and her coffee. She sat down next to me, grabbing the television remote and turned on Mama Mia. I pulled my feet up on the couch and laid my head in her lap as we watched television.
A few more hours went by and still no words were said, except a soft smile here and there. I thought about the snowflakes that stuck themselves to the window and the moan of the wind as it whistled while the pine tree hit the side of the building. I thought about the little kids who were jumping from puddle to puddle with the biggest smiles on their faces. I thought the feeling of never experiencing genuine happiness and what that that joy might feel like. I thought to myself how sleeping with Archie might’ve been the closest I ever got to the feeling of genuine happiness and how disgusting of a human being that makes me.
I thought about the flickering lights, the Red Sox framed poster on the wall and how much I hated them. I thought about the bare colored ceiling and the creamed color walls with a tint of green. I thought about his clothes sitting on the floor and the television wires sticking out. And then, him. I thought about how he cuddled me in his arms, running his hands up and down my back. I thought about the warmth of our two bodies touching and the way he kissed my forehead. I thought about the smug smile that started to form on his face and how he cleaned the tears on mine. I thought about how his eyes glimmered in the twinkling lights and how they made my heart feel like it was melting.
But, then I thought about her. I thought about all the inside jokes, like the one about pasta and the one about 403. I thought about all of the midnight tea and crying sessions after long drunk nights. I thought about all of the memories we have; like our initiation into the sorority and the time we spent two hours shopping in target and spent over $200.00 dollars. I thought about all the long face-time calls over the summer and all of the late-night crafting sessions. I thought about all the nugget runs and then I thought about how that all might change if she ever found out what we did. I thought of the reason we did it, and I tried to convince myself that our reason was valid, but it really wasn’t.
Time: a concept I never truly understood. I always felt this overwhelming power for the need to cherish the good and let go of the bad, but I couldn’t face myself with it. I knew once I said it out loud then I would actually be admitting what we did. About five hours had gone by, and nothing had changed. My body still felt as light as a feather. As we finished Mama Mia we turned on Mama Mia II. I heard the doorbell, my heart immediately plummeted through the floorboards, and my lungs stopped compressing. She got up off of the couch to answer the door, and all it took was a second to realize who was there. He walked in, saw me, I looked at her and said, “Dude, I fucked up.” Then Veronica looked at me, Archie looked at her, I turned my head to look at him and time had stopped again.
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Your imagery in his is gorgeous. I can’t wait to read more!
This is very well written! I’m assuming you’re a big Riverdale fan? It was interesting seeing Betty and Archie together since it has been teased in the show. Does Jughead exist in this fanfiction? That would be an interesting addition as well. I also like that you gave your own twist on Betty and Veronica’s friendship that we do not see in the show, like their inside jokes and movie preferences. The imagery in this snippet is super strong and I could picture everything perfectly. I really liked the images of the snow outside and the kids playing in it. I’d love to read more of this!
it actually has nothing to do with Riverdale at all, I just used the characters names because they worked.
Also, this piece has been chosen as today’s featured post of the week! If you would like any of your social media handles plugged, let me know and I can add them. Thanks!
Are you familiar with the show at all? Because your story mirrors it. Betty and Veronica are best friends, Archie and Veronica are dating, and Betty and Archie do get together while Archie and Veronica are dating. The only difference is on the show, they do not have sex but just make out. Because of the striking similarities, this does read like a fanfiction of the show. If you want it to be a separate piece, I would suggest changing the names or not make the situation so similar to what actually happens on the show.
I was thinking the same exact thing! I totally thought it was fan fiction of Riverdale! Love that show.