Everything has a beginning, middle, and an end,
Just like every story has a different message to send,
It can be adventure, action, or sorrow,
But why not read today so we can change tomorrow,
Make the world a better place for all creatures to live,
We have so much potential if we decide to give,
A little of time, a little of patience, and a little of care,
We can make a difference if united we are there,
From history we can learn all about the past,
To create a future that will surely last,
We must take the time to understand,
That the future is literally in our hands,
Our decisions today can affect the course of history,
Until we decide to stand united our future will remain a mystery.
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Wow, this poem just skims off the tongue like a piece of hard candy! Seriously, I thought I was listening to some sort of angelic song and a public speech written by an idol. This piece was not only motivating, but also serves as an incentive for the general public. Everyone likes to believe that, as individuals, we are not in control of what happens in the word – it makes us feel better when unfortunate incidents take place. But that is not the truth of the matter. To a degree, what we do and how we does matter because our perceptions and actions outline the course that our world follows, and this piece is a polite way of insisting that we need to be better. We need to “Make the world a better place” by giving “A little of time, a little of patience, and a little or care.” We need to “learn all about the past” so that we “create a future that will surely last.” These are so many lines over the course of this piece that are so simple but also have the potential to reverberate through the reader’s heart and mind. Although you are preaching, you are doing it in a manner that is not reprimanding or cruel: you are just urging your audience to take action so that all of us can a bigger and brighter future. Phenomenal, phenomenal work!
The only of advice – or, more like a suggestion – that I have to offer is to convert some of these phrases into independent clauses. Although I know that it is typical for poems to end lines with either commas or not punctuation at all, I believe that turning these lines into individual sentences will help better establish the tone of the piece. For instance, the fourth line – “But why not read today so we can change tomorrow” – clearly a question that’s urging people to get educated so they can effectively take a stand, so end it with a question mark to ensure reinforce that the line’s intention. The fifth line – “Make the world a better place for all creatures to live” – is an imperative sentence, commanding people to take initiative, so end it with a comma or an exclamation point in order to get your assertion across clearly. Simple changes like these will undoubtedly make your voice a lot stronger and your message a lot more vehement!