I don’t know if I’ll trust again.
I trusted my boss.
I went to her for help.
Because I was cutting myself at work.
And I couldn’t stop it.
She brought in human resources.
Now they want me gone,
because I had another episode.
She as much as told me so.
Can I be fired for cutting myself?
I suppose they’ll look for another reason.
They’re treating me like I’m a danger,
to everybody else.
My coworkers.
It pisses me off.
I’d never hurt anyone else.
Just because I’m mentally ill,
doesn’t automatically mean I’m dangerous.
The people who know me,
really know me.
Know that.
I find the assumption insulting.
I’m only a danger to myself.
So where do I put these feelings?
The mistrust and the anger inside.
The betrayal and treachery.
They made me want to die.
And I nearly did.
Because of them.
How dare they.
This is how I’m treated.
After years of being respectful..
It’s bullshit. All of it.
They pulled me from a meeting.
In front of everyone.
Then made me go back in,
to get my bag.
And because I had carpooled that day,
I had to walk home,
in the cold.
Hell of a way to treat someone,
who is already suffering.
They told me three times,
how everyone deserves to feel safe at work.
I can see the writing on the wall.
They warned me against retaliation,
for the girl who reported me.
As though I would.
Though she’s thrown me under the bus,
four times now.
She brings a taser to work.
The lead worker drinks on duty.
But I’m not a snitch.
So instead I’m the bad guy.
I want everyone to know,
that this,
is how you are treated.
When mentally ill,
at work.
Poetry